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Chris Graham: Different vistas


312_stopthepressesWe’re driving through Altavista this week on our way back from Greensboro, and it hits me. The anxiety medicine that I take when traveling, that is.

“I bet people in Altavista don’t like Buena Vista being so relatively close.”

I say this to my wife.

(Note to self: Need to get those meds checked.)

First off, checking on this later on, they’re not so close, relatively speaking, roughly 60 miles by car, about an hour and fifteen minute drive.

But still. They’re in the same … state.

And they both have vista in their name.

One means “high view,” the other “good view.”

“What good is a high view if you have a good view. I’d rather have a good view.” This is what I imagine the good folks in Buena Vista saying to retort the good folks in Altavista.

Who retort back: “Have fun in Bway-na Veesta, y’all.”

(For those from outside Virginia, the good folks in Buena Vista pronounce the name of their town as “Byoo-na Vista.” I’d imagine their rivals in Altavista would exploit the localization to their strategic advantage in this marketing border war.)

(Yes, I feel sorry for my poor wife for having to endure these kinds of discussions on long drives.)

It hits me at some point during this discussion … again, yes, about the anxiety medicine, but then also about some other random point that I’d made to Crystal on the drive down about all the war that we seem to have going on in the world right now.

It’s all about as stupid as my made-up little conflict between the Virginia Vistas. Israel and Palestine are killing each other over religion; Ukraine and Russia over … not sure what, exactly, outside of not them just not liking each other.

My Battle of the Vistas could have its fires stoked similarly stupidly. Good view. High view. Yeah, well, your view is high because of all the medical mari-ja-wanna you have over there. Uh huh, and yours is so good because bite me.

This is how wars get started. You could look it up.



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