Home Chris Saxman: Cold Fusion – Ghostbusters Edition

Chris Saxman: Cold Fusion – Ghostbusters Edition

If there’s something strange/In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?
United States Navy SEAL Team Six!
That’s who!

I emailed a good friend of mine whose brother was one of the victims of the World Trade Center attack and asked how his family was doing after learning Usama bin Swimming with the Fishes. His reply was heart warming.

“Hi Sax, Thanks so much. I love they shot him in the face. Long wait but totally worth it.”

That pretty much sums up the country’s feelings on this. Gratitude. Love the Happy Ending for Usama. Worth the wait.

Really, we are good with that. Just knowing that the Bin Wondering If I am Losing Hair died at the hands of a United States soldier double tapping that melon was good enough for me. Sure many have waxed on about the appropriateness of how UBL should get his, but the guy seemed to have vanished without a trace like a ghost. To the point at which he was out of our thoughts. Prior to the Twitter feeds at 10:30 EST on last Sunday night, when was the last time you had a conscious thought about Bin Laden?

While the President enjoys a RealClearPolitics average bounce in the polls of 4.6%, here at Cold Fusion Headquarters we hope the White House will use this time and appropriate wind at their backs to get their story straight.

I am granting myself a leave of absence on criticizing the President for the next two weeks. He’s earned the vacation and I hope he takes one. Apparently, hitting the golf course didn’t hinder the SEAL Team Six.

Maybe BHO can call SEAL Team Six into the Debt Reduction Neighborhood. That will liven things up. Who knows, it might even keep Joe Biden awake during the talks. NOTE TO READER – Joe Biden is the Vice President of these United States.

There has been a lot of talk on whether or not the photos of Bin Laden, post SEAL Team Six double tap, should be released to public. The primary reason given for not releasing them is that it might incite radical Islamic terrorists to join the global Jihad against the United States.

Yeah. They might change course and start hating The Great Satan. They might even strap bombs to mentally retarded children and have them go into crowded markets while some coward martyr’s him from a safe distance. They might start raping and torturing women and children.

If we can handle the pictures of Abu Ghraib, we can handle seeing these pics. They might be graphic and intended for mature audiences, but since my 8 year old son knows what a UAV (drone) is and what it can do (via Call of Duty 23 video game) and since every prime time show is dedicated to either solving some heinous crime or saving some shot up guy in some emergency room, I think we can handle Usama Bin Without Hat.

Sorry, JAWS broke the shock factor for us back in the 70s or maybe it was Charles Manson or The Exorcist or when Mike and Carol Brady shared a bed in prime time.

Enter Col. Nathan Jessup – “You Can’t Handle the Truth!”

John Q Public – “YES WE CAN!” Para espanol, numero dos – “Si Se puede.”

So, get your story straight. Have some more photo ops. Spike your football. Then let us spike ours. Show us what happened. And show the rest of the world what happens when you make enemies with the United States of America. We hunt you down and kill you. No Miranda Rights being read. Just your friends at Gitmo dimeing you out.

COLD FUSION UPDATE – We have taken to airwaves via ESPN 1240 WTON, the Boss. Every Friday morning from 7am to 8am, I am hosting a sports/politics talk show with Bill Piner here in Staunton. Our inaugural broadcast was this past Friday and our guests were Gov. George Allen and Lee High three-sport star Terrell Mickens. Terrell recently signed to play football at James Madison University and Gov. Allen is running for the US Senate.

We should be live streaming later this week. Tune in if you can and support our local sponsors – MasterTech Automotive, Community Bank and Applebee’s.

Back to our regular Cold Fusion.

Gov. Allen and Gov. Kaine are tied at 46 in a recent Washington Post poll of 1,040 Registered Voters. I think if the sample was Likely Voters, Allen would be up 3-5 points. But it’s early. This election could swing control of the US Senate, stay tuned.

Speaking of elections, if you haven’t heard Barack Obama was re-elected by the mainstream media and our good friends Joy Behar and Babwa Wawa. Apparently, there is a little known codicil in the Faber College Constitution that says if you give the orders to kill a terrorist hiding out in Pakistan and that terrorist is buried at sea the same day, you win re-election up to 18 months prior to the polls opening.

This is why George W Bush did not actually kill Usama Bin Dying From A Splitting Headache himself. He was not up for re-election so that would not have applied to him.


Unaware of the electoral returns, those pesky Republicans went ahead with a televised debate from South Carolina on Fox News last week. And the winner was……

Herman Cain. Knocked it out of the park. He is now in my top three with Mitch Daniels and Romney.

And the loser was….Mitt Romney. He should have been there.

There is a total misread by too many candidates and their consultants right now. The opposition needs a leader and the followers will follow the one who leads.

Quick analysis of the those currently in the race or are thinking about it.

Romney – Competent. Conservative enough. Might be too Corporate. Can’t pass up debates in leading primary states like South Carolina. You have to want this job more than breathing.

Huckabee – will get in too late. Could still win Iowa but Santorum is filling that void among social conservatives.

Santorum – needs more than social conservatives to win in Nov. 2012 but can’t get there without them. Has moved into second tier.

Ron Paul – right on a lot of issues. Sets a lot of the national agenda. Seems young for 76. Always has trouble attracting more people than he does. Needs to go a little mainstream to win. More issues = more voters. It’s called math.

Gary Johnson. Secretary of the Interior.

Tim Pawlenty (played by Dana Carvey) Secretary of Agriculture in 2013. Top Tier candidate now because Top Tier is not leading. He wants to be POTUS.

Palin. Pulling 15MM a year now. Won’t run. And shouldn’t.

Bachmann. Lecture circuit bound. Probably 15-20k a pop. Oh and book sales.

Gingrich – Train is leaving the station. Almost too late. Most articulate voice on the right.

Gov. Mitch Daniels – Could be the surprise of the summer or the implosion of the summer. Needs to get going. I’m getting a Mario Cuomo feeling on his candidacy – the plane is fired up but he needs to get on it.

Eight months to go and some of the so called leaders of the opposition don’t post for a debate in South Carolina and others still haven’t even made it known if they are running.

Lee Iacocca famously said “Lead, follow or Get out of the way.”

It’s time. Lead, Follow or Get out of the way. Herman Cain is leading and winning votes.

Something’s strange in the neighborhood, who are you going to call?


Column by Chris Saxman



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