I’m 65, and I have experienced my share of tough days. I had to say goodbye to both parents, a couple of dear friends in my years. But today may have been the worst.
Today just hasn’t made any sense. I’ve been shocked, saddened, angry, confused, in a matter of minutes, just to start over again.
The tragic loss of life for Lavel Davis Jr., Devin Chandler and D’Sean Perry has impacted me about as much as any loss I’ve had in my lifetime.
I’ve been a Cavalier fan my entire life. I didn’t have much choice. My dad was born and raised in Charlottesville and started taking me to basketball games when I needed to be carried into U-Hall.
I got my first job selling football programs in Scott Stadium in the early ‘70s. I was a Cavalier football fan during the Sonny Randle days. So, I know all too well what bad football is.
I’ve also had the privilege of covering Cavalier sports since 1982. Been to two Final Fours; yes, I missed that one Final Four, you know the one way up in Minnesota. I have been to all but one UVA football bowl game, from the 90-degree Micron Bowl to the four-degree Military Bowl.
After retirement, I have had the opportunity to work part-time in the Virginia Athletics Department. Along the way I been fortunate to get to know some of the student-athletes away from the game. To realize that these young men and women are real students, with all the pressures that any student experiences plus the huge responsibility of training, practicing, time away from class, and being held accountable for upholding the values of UVA.
Monday night, I attended a vigil on the South Lawn that overflowed to the next level. It was an amazing show of love and support during a sad day, in which evil again paid a visit to Charlottesville.
Thousands sat in complete silence for those three young men that lost their lives Sunday night. Silence was never more powerful.
I wish that I could think of words to write that would ease my pain. I simply don’t. I know that I am not alone tonight. I have dear friends and colleagues that I know are hurting as much as I am. I know they have cried as I have today.
I used to think crying only made things worse. Now I think it’s the best thing you can do.
People used to tell me, “You shouldn’t get so worked up about sports, it’s just a game.” They can all go to hell.
All I have asked GOD for today is to wake up, this having been just the worst nightmare of my life. I can’t imagine what today has been like for the players, coaches, and most importantly the families of the young men we have all lost.
I have two adult children that are the love of my existence. To think about losing either is just unimaginable.
Tonight at the vigil, surrounded by thousands of young students, I felt as though an apology was owed. An apology that my generation has failed them. We talk about equity, we talk about opportunity, we say how concerned we are about mental health. But this senseless tragedy just keeps repeating itself.
I wish my children were with me tonight. I’d give them an extra hug, and extra kiss goodnight, even whisper I’m sorry as I turned the light off.
I think I will call them both tonight.
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