I’m your next Veep

Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
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Since nobody called, I decided to go ahead and volunteer my name to the Barack Obama VP selection team for vetting.

I know it’s a longshot, but …

I’m thinking that the Obama people are struggling as to which direction to take. I mean, it’s been weeks since we first heard that a VP selection was imminent, and here we are, still waiting to see what’s going to happen.

I haven’t heard anything back from the Obamas, but it seems to me that they’re going to go Virginia with the selection, with all the talk about Tim Kaine and Mark Warner and Jim Webb. I’m also hearing that they’re looking to pull a shocker, and going with me would definitely be a shocker.

My political experience is limited to getting trounced in a city-council election in May by a person who has said all of five words publicly since being sworn in. Despite that track record, though, I think I have a lot to bring to the ticket, starting with my business background. Admittedly, I haven’t built a billion-dollar empire or anything, but … OK, scratch that. I’m trying to sell myself here. Positive swing thoughts. Ahem. OK. I know well the trials and tribulations that the small-business people who are the backbone of our economy go through every day. Yeah. Much better.

So there’s that, and I’m a Democrat in the reddest part of Virginia, and one of the coconspirators in the Paint the Valley Blue effort that got 500 people out to a picnic in Staunton last weekend. Which shows that I have crossover appeal, and that’s going to be important come Nov. 4 here in the Old Dominion.

Let’s see – the business background, the crossover appeal. Oh, and I’m not at all a Washington insider. I’m not even a Waynesboro insider. I’m pretty much on the outside of everything. From everything I’ve been reading, that puts me in good stead for the change message that the Obamas are selling.

That thing about getting trounced by a political nonentity is going to doom me, I’m sure. But I’m still waiting by the phone today just in case.