It is the ‘rich men north of Richmond’: But it ain’t because of what you’re being told
Opinion, Politics, U.S. & World

It is the ‘rich men north of Richmond’: But it ain’t because of what you’re being told

Chris Graham
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They’d have you believe that a guy from Farmville singing about fat people on welfare eating Fudge Rounds is inspiring a revolution.

Yeah, that’s what’s wrong with America.

I guess I’m the crazy one.

Because I think it’s … a lot of other things.

For one, the people who spend all their time trying to ban books.

Seriously, y’all gotta have something better to do with your time.

Novel thought: shouldn’t we be trying to get kids to read books, instead of looking at their damn phones all day?

While we’re there, why are we giving kids phones in the first place?

You give them phones to shut them up.

Come on, admit it.

That’s what you’re doing.

Read to ‘em, already.

Get ‘em outside playing, exploring the world.

Kids need to be kids.

Let ‘em be kids.

And if they’re trans, let ‘em be trans.

This is another thing that’s wrong with us.

Trans kids are less than 1 percent of the population, but you wouldn’t know that to watch the news or look at your social media.

We’re changing the way our whole world works because of people who are scared of less than one in a hundred kids that they wouldn’t know was trans if they were sitting in front of them, because, get this, trans kids, they’re kids.

Your nonsense on trans kids is literally driving these kids to suicide, and you pretend it’s because of your religion.

Just sayin’, if your religion teaches you to drive kids to suicide, you might need a new religion.

Speaking of which, religion, another thing that’s wrong is the guy I saw the other day with the religious bumper sticker on the back of his truck with an image of Jesus, a catchy slogan and a middle finger.

Yeah, because that’s what Jesus taught.

Eff the non-believers, so sayeth the Lord.

These are the people who get upset when the preacher quotes Jesus, “blessed are the meek,” because that’s apparently a liberal talking point.

These people would have turned Jesus away at the border.

(News flash: Jesus ain’t the white guy with a mullet like you see on the cheap painting on the wall of your church on Sunday. Think: not Morgan Wallen, but maybe more, Rami Malek.)

We get fighting, shooting mad about a beer brand being too “woke.”

What’s the opposite of “woke,” I wonder.

Best I can tell, the opposite of “woke” is “asleep.”

That’s something to be proud of.

Literally sleeping through life as if Black people still aren’t treated as equals, women haven’t been made second-class citizens by the Supreme Court, people aren’t shooting each other every day over nothing.

Meanwhile, we claim to care about people’s mental health, yet do nothing to improve how we treat mental health.

I don’t even think we pretend anymore to care about what our kids are learning in school.

We can’t even put them on a school bus and get back home before 9 p.m., much less expect them to learn anything meaningful about the world they’re going to have to live in on their own one day soon, because we’re too cheap to pay for good schooling, even for damn bus drivers to get them there and back.

Thirty million people still can’t afford health insurance, and 100 million more having health insurance and still having to hope that they don’t get too sick, because if they do, it’ll bankrupt them.

The earth we live on is literally burning to the ground.

And we’re dividing ourselves over, what?

Really, I want to know.

Why are we dividing ourselves over nothing?

Why are y’all banning books, trying to Whitewash history, treating people who aren’t white, hetero- and nominally Christian as lesser?

Have you ever thought, that’s what they want you to do?

They being, the politicians, the corporate elites.

If you look back at history, Southern history, in particular, is a good guide here.

White Southern elites kept political and economic power for 100 years after the Civil War by keeping working-class Whites and Blacks at each other’s throats.

The only thing different now is, it’s not just White Southern elites doing it.

Richard Nixon mainstreamed it, Ronald Reagan perfected it, and Donald Trump took it to the next level.

They got y’all hating on each other, and all the while, they’re getting richer, and you’re staying where you are.

This whole own the libs thing ain’t exactly working out the way they told you it would, is it?

But, yeah, it’s about fat people on welfare eating Fudge Rounds.

If that helps you sleep at night, I’m not going to change your mind.

Chris Graham

Chris Graham

Chris Graham is the founder and editor of Augusta Free Press. A 1994 alum of the University of Virginia, Chris is the author and co-author of seven books, including Poverty of Imagination, a memoir published in 2019, and Team of Destiny: Inside Virginia Basketball’s Run to the 2019 National Championship, and The Worst Wrestling Pay-Per-View Ever, published in 2018. For his commentaries on news, sports and politics, go to his YouTube page,