Who’s the boss?

Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham

He always gets upset at me for hiding my snacks.

What he doesn’t realize is … I’m a dog, one, and two, has he ever offered to give me a few feet of space that I can call my own, maybe throw in a chest of drawers or something else that I can use to keep things in order, so to speak?


He just walks around the house singing those stupid songs.

“Benzi wants more Benzi snacks.” “Benzi likes to hi-i-i-ide things.”

He could rhyme these songs, let me tell you – it wouldn’t hurt him a bit, and wouldn’t take much effort, given their simplicity.

But anyway, he never once asked me if I wanted to have, say, a hutch that I could put something on – maybe a nice pink lily or something, with a doilie in the shape of a heart.

I like things in the shape of hearts – but then again, I’m a miniature poodle.

It’s kind of automatic that we have to like hearts. And doilies. And pink lilies.

I digress.

Because I’m just dreaming here.

Not that he has anything to worry about – he has a chest of drawers, and a desk for his computer and books and notebooks.

And a cupboard to keep food in.

Not to mention all that cabinet space that he has filled up with God-knows-what.

He has stuff everywhere – literally.

And he gets riled up at me when I hide my snacks or my treats under a cushion on the couch.

Some nerve this guy has – giving me a hard time.

Oh, well. Guess I’ll have to pee in the floor again.

You know – to show him who’s boss.


UVA Basketball Fans!

uva basketball team of destiny
Team of Destiny: Inside Virginia Basketball’s Run to the 2019 National Championship, by Jerry Ratcliffe and Chris Graham, is available for $25. The book, with additional reporting by Zach Pereles, Scott Ratcliffe, and Scott German, will take you from the aftermath of the stunning first-round loss to UMBC in 2018 through to the thrilling overtime win over Texas Tech to win the 2019 national title, the first in school history.

Dick Vitale on Team of Destiny: “This is a hoops story you will LOVE! Jerry and Chris capture the sensational and dramatic championship journey by Tony Bennett and his tenacious Cavalier team. UVA was Awesome Baby and so is this book!”

Ralph Sampson on Team of Destiny: “Jerry and Chris have lived and seen it all, even before my time. I highly recommend this book to every basketball fan across the globe. This story translates to all who know defeat and how to overcome it!”

Feedback from buyers: “Got the Book in the Mail Saturday, and could not put it down! Great read and great photography as well! Love all of the books I’ve received, but hands down, this is my favorite!” – Russell

Buy here.

augusta free press news
augusta free press news
augusta free press news