Home There’s no change like old change
Local

There’s no change like old change

AFP

A Dull Ache column by W.R. Marshall

“My friends. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. Give me five bees for a quarter, you’d say. Now, where were we, oh ya. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because if the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones. My friends.”

So said John McCain just a few days ago when speaking at his alma mater, Episcopal High School.

McCain’s heartfelt sentiment about his teenaged years, and the influences of those around him at Episco … excuse me, my wife’s calling …

Apparently, I need to apologize. The above quoted passage is in fact, not from a speech by John McCain, but from one by Abe Simpson, (you know, Homer’s dad, Bart, Lisa and Maggie’s grandfather.)

I’m a little embarrassed because I didn’t even know he was running for president. If I had, I can assure you I would have been mu … excuse me again, sorry …

OK, I’ve just been told Abe Simpson is not running for president. Then who hell is that guy in the picture, and on the bus, and who wants to stay in Iraq for a hundr …

Oh … never mind …

 
 




Featured Video

 

AFP

AFP

Have a guest column, letter to the editor, story idea or a news tip? Email editor Chris Graham at [email protected]. Subscribe to AFP podcasts on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Pandora and YouTube. Support AFP by signing up for our newsletter and/or powering our work with a one-time or monthly contribution.

Latest News

uva football beau pribula tony elliott mike ingalls
Football, Go 'Hoos

UVA Football: Elliott, standing by his man at QB, tosses us another word salad

police crime scene
Local

Waynesboro Police continue to exercise right to remain silent on Sept. 2 school shooting

We’re seven weeks out from the Sept. 2 shooting at Westwood Hills Elementary School, with the lone publicly identified suspect dead, and Waynesboro Police are continuing to sit on whatever information they have on the shooting.

uva basketball
Basketball, Go 'Hoos

UVA Basketball: Nine Virginia alums open 2026-2027 season on NBA rosters

Nine UVA Basketball alums are opening the 2026-2027 NBA season on active rosters, including rookie Ugonna Onyenso, who was a 2026 second-round pick by the Detroit Pistons.

uva football
Football, Go 'Hoos

UVA Football: Does the revised outlook for the 2026 season get us to six wins?

acc football
Football

ACC Football Players of the Week: The select media panel’s stars of Week 7

donald trump money
Politics

Reese Bull | The Trump $90 Medicare bribe, and Google’s $2,000 Ben Cline bribe

donald trump
Politics

Alon Ben-Meir | Donald Trump: Chronicles of the narcissist-in-chief