Babblin’ Brit Hume

A Dull Ache column by W.R. Marshall

This yutz says more stupid stuff per hour than most talking heads spout in the month. He’s most famously known for shouting “fair and balanced” anytime there’s a lull in the conversation. I actually think they’ve implanted a little Skinner device in his rear-end, and Murdock gets a kick out of pressing the button and watching his parrot squawk, “fair and balanced, caaaaawk, fair and balanced.”

And while calling Fox News fair and balanced is like calling George Bush competent or Bill Clinton trustworthy, that’s not the stupidest thing blockhead Brit has uttered, not by far.

Something this dolt said two years ago has been eating at me, and now I have a place to share.

On Feb. 11, 2006, Deadeye Dick Cheney shot Harry Whittington, “an acquaintance” (Cheney’s words) in the face and chest while quail hunting in Texas. No one seemed to know about it until the following day, because Satan said keep it on the down low. Finally, when it became painfully obvious (not that this administration has much understanding of the obvious, or the pain they cause) it could no longer be ignored, Cheney was forced to sit down and talk about it on Feb. 15, 2006. (Just four days later; much better response time than Katrina – see, even evil monkeys can learn.)

Of course, to make sure the interview was on the up and up, the White House gave Fox News the exclusive and anointed press lapdog Brit the Boob to ask the questions.

The softballs fly early and often, halfwit Hume has no problem with the vice president of the United States keeping all this hush-hush for as long as possible, and seems almost apologetic to be speaking of it at all. Then, in a moment embracing the highest ideals of journalism, a sliver of time that will be remembered along with “what did he know and when did he know it,” Bridiot Hume, facing the man who is just a mechanical heartbeat away from the presidency, and who just four days earlier, shot “an acquaintance” in the face – the victim still lying in a hospital bed at the time of the interview – asks:

“And you — and I take it, you missed the bird.”

That right there is your high-quality journalism.

As for the bird…we all got the bird, right, Mr. Cheney?