Home This actually happened: Elon Musk challenges Mark Zuckerberg to, ahem, measure up

This actually happened: Elon Musk challenges Mark Zuckerberg to, ahem, measure up

Chris Graham
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(© Sergei Elagin – Shutterstock)

News item: Elon Musk, thinking he’s exuding Big D— Energy, challenges Mark Zuckerberg to a “literal d— measuring contest.”

Y’all, he wants to see the other guy’s pee-pee.

That’s what he’s saying here.

The supposed richest man in the world, an alleged genius.

Wants to see a pee-pee.

This is the guy, you may remember, who once spent $44 billion for the right to run Twitter into the ground.

That’s been going so well that he decided, out of the blue, a few weeks ago, to challenge Zuckerberg, who similarly has done everything he can to run Facebook into the ground, to an MMA fight.

You can’t get the image of Musk, pasty white, way, way, way overweight, on that boat out of your head, can you?

Yeah, that guy wants to fight somebody.

Then Zuckerberg, who maxed out on the good luck with Musk deciding to be his foil, launched Threads last week.

Threads, for the two or three of you out there who have yet to sign up, is Twitter without the Nazis, basically.

Threads doesn’t exist if Musk hadn’t spent the past nine months fritzing Twitter from within.

That inconvenient truth hasn’t gotten to the attention of the delicate genius quite yet.

Zuck is a cuck.”

That was the latest round fired off by the wannabe schoolyard bully, from over the weekend.

Not that Zuck is some kind of demon fighting machine or anything, but you know that ol’ Chubb Twitt would soil his diaper if he actually got into a fight with him, or anybody over the age of 10.

And so it is that, now, we get Musk wanting a d— measuring contest.

Isn’t it funny that this Musk guy, a raging, among other things, homophobe, is so focused on getting the two of them take their shirts off and fight, watch each other have sex, and now he wants to drop trou to compare the size of their Schwartz?

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that Musk has a crush on somebody, and just can’t bring himself to admit it.

Chris Graham

Chris Graham

Chris Graham is the founder and editor of Augusta Free Press. A 1994 alum of the University of Virginia, Chris is the author and co-author of seven books, including Poverty of Imagination, a memoir published in 2019, and Team of Destiny: Inside Virginia Basketball’s Run to the 2019 National Championship, and The Worst Wrestling Pay-Per-View Ever, published in 2018. For his commentaries on news, sports and politics, go to his YouTube page, or subscribe to his Street Knowledge podcast. Email Chris at [email protected].