Home Leave Donald Trump alone: He’s the healthiest obese almost-80-year-old alive
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Leave Donald Trump alone: He’s the healthiest obese almost-80-year-old alive

Chris Graham
donald trump
Image: © LifetimeStock – Shutterstock

I think we’re giving Donald Trump too hard a time for being three weeks away from turning 80.

“Just finished my 6 month physical at Walter Reed Military Medical Center. Everything checked out PERFECTLY,” Trump posted to Truth Social on Tuesday, which, good news, right?

Now, the concept of a “6 month physical” might seem a bit much, but actually, no.

I mean, Mayo Clinic says “healthy 80-year-olds do not need comprehensive physicals every six months,” but then the folks there also say “those with chronic conditions or complex medication regimens may need to see their doctor every three to six months for monitoring.”

OK, so, Trump, who does, you have to admit, look like he’s been rode hard, is in the “every three to six months for monitoring” phase.

So what, right?

And so, he falls asleep in meetings a lot; who doesn’t?

That doesn’t have to be “severe daytime somnolence,” as CNN medical analyst Jonathan Reiner termed it today.

Most of the meetings he’s falling asleep in are nonsense anyway.

Let’s see you sit through some economics doof with a bowtie droning on about inelasticity after you were up half the night posting memes of yourself drowning libtards in vats of raw sewage.

The fact that he’s still upright as he’s sawing logs on live TV is an accomplishment.

I’m not even concerned about the increasing frequency of the dementia tests – it seems that he’s being directed to take one every couple of days.

The fact that he keeps passing them means, among other things, he still knows how to tell time, what day it is, which one is the giraffe.

Give the guy a break already.

He’s an old man, and a grotesquely obese one at that.

The guy has been on the “Super Size Me” diet that dang-near killed documentary filmmaker Morgan Spurlock in a mere 30 days for the past 30 years.

You try tipping the scales at 350, with a cholesterol level at 20W-50, getting no exercise outside of endlessly flapping your gums, and see if you worry about your ankles being swollen, and your hands turning purple.

Every day this guy doesn’t stroke out on his way to the helicopter on the White House lawn is a miracle.

That’s going to be you and me some day.

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Chris Graham

Chris Graham

Chris Graham is the founder and editor of Augusta Free Press. A 1994 alum of the University of Virginia, Chris is the author and co-author of seven books, including Poverty of Imagination, a memoir published in 2019. For his commentaries on news, sports and politics, go to his YouTube page, TikTok, BlueSky, or subscribe to his Street Knowledge podcast. Email Chris at [email protected]. Support AFP by signing up for our newsletter and/or powering our work with a one-time or monthly contribution.

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