So, the Pentagon wants active-duty military at the UFC White House lawn 80th birthday present to Donald Trump, but, and this is important, no fatties.
“MUST MEET CURRENT WAIST-HEIGHT RATIO,” the Air Force told those from its ranks who might be interested via memo, per reporting from the Bezos Post.
Because we all know that Trump likes ‘em fit.
“I’m looking at the legs. He’s this beautiful guy. He’s got legs like tree trunks!” was how Trump gushed over New York Giants quarterback Jaxson Dart, who introduced him at a rally last week – and in the process, ruined his NFL career.
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Seriously, Dart might as well have just drawn bullseyes on his knees and called it a day.
This awkward moment came literally a day after Trump was caught during a commencement speech frothing at the mouth at a U.S. Coast Guard Academy grad who had earned perfect scores “on every single fitness test,” per the president.
“Wow, this guy must be something. I think we’ll have to invite him up. We want to see. I want to check him out,” Trump said.
“OK, I’m just going to say it. The president needs to f–k a dude, alright? Like, just go for it, Mr. President. I’m not even saying you’re gay. It just seems like something you need to get out of your system, you know,” Ronny Chieng from “The Daily Show” said about that one.
Must meet current waist-height ratio – what does that even mean, you’re wondering?
If you’re under 0.55, you’re good.
For instance, there’s me – my waist is 33 inches, my height is 73, so my waist-height ratio would be 0.45.
Meaning, I’d be good to go!
Uh, oh.
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It’s hilarious that not only does Trump want military members around for his bloodsport spectacle, but the guys in uniform need to be in shape, considering his shape: round.
He tells the world that he’s 6’3”, 239, but in reality, POTUS is, at best, six even and three bills.
Before I lost 100 pounds back in 2014, I was just under 300 – and when I was that size, my waist was 46 inches.
Let’s give Trump that one – 46-inch waist, 72-inch height.
His waist-height ratio: 0.64.
Seems our supersized Commander-in-Chief isn’t qualified to go to his own party.
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Chris Graham
