The congressional district that gave us Marjorie Taylor Greene, famous for her belief in Jewish space lasers, replaced MTG with a guy, Clay Fuller, who thinks Maryland is in the SEC, and that Georgia is named for George Washington.
This Clay Fuller goober claims to have a master’s degree from Cornell and a law degree from SMU.
It’s astounding that that this guy and his mid-double-digits IQ have the sense to know that the underwear go on the inside, the pants go on the outside.
Our intro to the MAGA bro now sitting in MTG’s seat in Congress came from a video about his first week on Capitol Hill that his staff is trying to claim was “obviously satirical” and that “no reasonable person would think he was serious.”
Except that Fuller seemed rather seriously upset at the AC in his suburban Maryland hotel being on the fritz due to “Green New Deal nonsense.”
Which, I mean, I get it – the reason you stay in hotels is to be able to crank the AC down to 62 when you go to bed, because you don’t have to pay for it.
Dude tried to claim that he was told by the front desk that because of a “Green New Deal thing,” the AC in its guest rooms shuts off “if you’re not moving in your room.”
Interjecting here: maybe he just forgot to turn the setting to on?
Given everything else we now about this Clay Fuller dipsh-t, this seems as likely as anything.
Fuller claimed the front-desk guy told him that VIPs got the good AC, which is when he said he told the desk guy, according to his video:
“‘Well, Georgia is named after George Washington,’ who quite literally invented freedom. It’s the birthplace of Ronald Acuna Jr. It’s the birthplace of Gunner Stockton.’ And he said, ‘Well, I’m immediately switching it to VIP mode.’”
Georgia isn’t named for George Washington – everybody knows it was named for George Jefferson.
Fact check: actually, the namesake is another fictional character, King George III, the heel who stole the show in Hamilton.
I was close.
Ronald Acuna Jr., meanwhile, plays for the Atlanta Braves, but he was born in Venezuela, which we know because its president is Donald Trump.
Sorry; Trump is the president of Cuba.
And the ayatollah in Iran.
And the Pope.
Gunner Stockton, for his part: not a real person.
Hold on: being told that Gunner Stockton is a real person, and it’s really spelled Gunner, not Gunnar, because whoever this Gunner Stockton kid is, he’s from Georgia.
In the caption accompanying the video, Fuller attributed the situation with the AC as being “one more example of why” the University of Maryland has “never won an SEC championship.”
In addition to the state’s strict adherence to Green New Deal BS with respect to its hotel ACs, its flagship university is a member of the Big Ten.
Fuller, at least, has it right, that Maryland is not competitive in the Big Ten, just as Maryland wasn’t competitive in the ACC, and really ought to consider just giving up and dropping down to D3, where it wouldn’t be competitive, either, but at least it wouldn’t cost as much.
Which, that’s me, being satirical – though, no, I really believe Maryland needs to go D3.
But seriously, hey, credit here to Clay Fuller, who I’d not heard of until his bit about how he’s an Olympic-level Neanderthal when it comes to his AC.
Pro tip for Clay Fuller: use a different voice when you’re being satirical.
In your case, try your best fake smart one, so that we can distinguish.
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Chris Graham
