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Rude awakening

Chris Graham

Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
[email protected] 

312_stopthepresses.jpgI’d been growing a beard for a few months – well, not exactly growing one, you know, as much as just not shaving a two- or three-day growth of stubble off, hoping to get that Don Johnson look from “Miami Vice” vibe going for me and all.
And then I saw myself on TV.
And I looked like … Todd Foster.
“Egads!” I said to the TV screen, then immediately went to the bathroom and grabbed the first dull razor that I could find.

And then …
“You shaved!” my wife exclaimed.
She’d been giving me a hard time about the playoff-hockey beard that I’d been keeping lo these many moons.
“But … what made you do it?”
“I … uh … I just wanted a different look,” I said.

I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t like it that the beard made me look like I have jowls.
That was the first thing.
The big thing …
“Foster,” I said to myself as I looked in the mirror one last time before wielding the Bic.
They say that TV adds 20 pounds.
Maybe so.
But … that?
Now I’m back to being my matinee-idol old self. Such as that was.

  

Chris Graham is the executive editor of The Augusta Free Press.

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Chris Graham

Chris Graham

Chris Graham is the founder and editor of Augusta Free Press. A 1994 alum of the University of Virginia, Chris is the author and co-author of seven books, including Poverty of Imagination, a memoir published in 2019. For his commentaries on news, sports and politics, go to his YouTube page, TikTok, BlueSky, or subscribe to Substack or his Street Knowledge podcast. Email Chris at [email protected].

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