Prioritizing mental health is just as important to children as it is to adults, according to experts.
Children and teens should be allowed to express a wide range of emotions to learn coping strategies that will help them throughout their life. Research shows that learning coping strategies may reduce thoughts of suicide.
“Stress and anxiety are normal parts of life that we all experience in order to keep us safe,” said Samantha Kempker-Margherio, assistant professor of psychology in the Virginia Tech College of Science. “Self-managing stress and anxiety is a key part to being human, and we can help children and teens learn these skills by modeling our own healthy coping strategies and trying to reduce avoidance.”
Parents should allow children to express both positive and negative emotions and work with them on regulating both.
“Often parents encourage positive emotions and discourage negative emotions,” said Cindy Smith, director of the Children’s Emotions Lab at Virginia Tech. “Children may learn that negative emotions are ‘bad’ and thus try not to display them, which can lead to anxiety and stress because they are not dealing with their emotions and learning to regulate them.”
Experts recommend parents encourage discussion around emotions.
“Label emotions in yourself and others to help build your child’s emotional vocabulary and recognize that emotions — even negative emotions — are a part of life, are temporary, and in fact, can be good,” said Rosanna Breaux, director of the Child Study Center and the CALMER Lab.
Popular movies like “Inside Out” and “Inside Out 2” may be a good reference for parents to start a conversation about mental health.
“Adults can help children and teens develop healthy coping strategies by modeling their own, like narrating when they are taking deep breaths, helping the child build their own strategies and rewarding or praising the child when they use their healthy coping strategies,” said Kempker-Margherio.
Healthy coping strategies
- Taking deep breaths
- Using sensory stimulation such as holding ice cubes
- Tightening then relaxing your muscles
- Playing with a pet
- Using positive self-talk statements (“I made a mistake, but now I know better for next time.”)
Signs of stress or anxiety in children
- Frequent irritability or outbursts
- Trouble sleeping
- Frequent complaints of stomachaches or headaches
- Dropping grades
- Consistent avoidance
Children and teens who feel anxious may try to avoid the cause: staying home from school or not ordering their own food at restaurants, as two examples.
Avoidance may reduce anxiety in the short term, but it increases anxiety in the long-term, said Kempker-Margherio.
“When it is safe to do so, try to encourage your child to engage in the things that make them anxious, taking small steps at first and providing praise for their efforts,” Kempker-Margherio said.
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October 10 is World Mental Health Day.
If you or someone you know needs support now, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org
For local mental health resources, visit AFP’s Project Mental Health page.