There has been a war brewing for some time in local, state and national politics related to LGBTQ+, and particularly transgender students and what rights they have while they pursue their education.
Former President Donald Trump, who has pledged to dismantle any progress by the current administration related to the LGBTQ+ community, has set the stage for a battle on queer rights as he attempts a return to the White House.
“But, uh, the transgender thing is an incredible thing,” Trump said this week at a Moms for Liberty event. “Your kid goes to school and comes home a few days later with an operation. The school decides what’s going to happen with your child, and you, many of these childs 15 years later say, ‘What the hell happened? Who did this to me?'”
Trump’s statement is a gross misrepresentation of the truth behind the challenging decisions that families and children in the nation, in the state, and even in Augusta County, face when it comes to gender identity.
“It frustrates me when people say being gay or trans is a choice, because I would not choose this. If someone said I could choose to be cis or straight, I would choose it in an instant, because it would be easier,” said Noah Cash, a 15-year-old Augusta County teen who came out when he was in sixth grade, when he was 11 years old.
“I’m not ashamed of being trans. It’s a part of who I am, and it’s my life. But if I could change it, I most definitely would. I wish people would understand that I just want to be comfortable.”
Cis, also referred to as cisgender or cissexual, is used to describe a person whose gender identity corresponds to their sex assigned at birth.
Coming out, and transitioning from female to male, was difficult for Noah in large part due to the cruel bullying that followed. But not coming out, he said, would have been far worse.
“There’s been a lot of times, especially going through the immense amounts of bullying that I’ve gone through, that I almost wish I waited, because it would have been easier, at least bullying-wise. I wouldn’t have been such a target. But I almost wonder if I wouldn’t have made it, because I do have some pretty severe depression, and I went through some serious bouts of struggling with that.
“I definitely struggled with some suicidal thoughts and an attempt, and it was just because I was so unhappy. And the people in school made me so unhappy. I’ve been in therapy since I was 11, so I’ve got to work through this with my therapist. I have PTSD diagnosed. I have anxiety, depression, gender dysphoria. …
“I’m in a much better place now. I still struggle with depressive episodes and depression in general, but I’m a lot better about mindset and managing it. I look forward to my future, and that was something I didn’t really have before.
“I’ve always thought about the future, but especially during those first few years, I felt it wasn’t really promised,” Noah said.
Mental health of those who identify as LGBTQ+ in crisis
Noah isn’t alone in his struggles with his mental health and suicidal thoughts before and after he came out.
A report released last month by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, or CDC, found that three in five students who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning or another non-heterosexual identity experienced persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness, and one in five had attempted suicide in the past year.
The Youth Risk Behavior Survey also found that LGBTQ+ high-school students reported higher rates of violence than their peers.
Among the findings, LGBTQ youth:
- 65 percent had persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness
- 53 percent experienced poor mental health during the past 30 days
- 41 percent seriously considered attempting suicide during the past year
- 32 percent made a suicide plan during the past year
- 20 percent attempted suicide during the past year
- 5 percent were injured in a suicide attempt during the past year
- 25 percent were electronically bullied during the past year
- 19 percent did not go to school because of safety concerns in the last 30 days
- 14 percent were threatened or injured with a weapon at school during the past year
- 29 percent were bullied at school during the past year
The Youth Risk Behavior Survey is conducted every other year, and surveys thousands of high school-age children from public and private schools between grades 9 and 12 across all 50 states and the District of Columbia.
“One of our main priorities at CDC is improving Americans’ mental health,” said Debra Houry, M.D., M.P.H., the CDC’s chief medical officer and deputy director for program and science. “Every child should feel safe and supported, and CDC will continue its work to turn this data into action until we reach that goal.”
A second report, Safe Havens II, offers recommendations and a roadmap for how to better support LGBTQ+ youth.
“We have a responsibility to support the healthy identity development of all young people and this importantly includes transgender, nonbinary and gender diverse youth,” said Megan Martin, Executive Vice President at the Center for the Study of Social Policy. “However, rather than being supportive, public systems are failing them and their families, and causing significant harm by denying their identities and access to supportive and affirming resources and placements.”
The politics of being trans or queer
Virginia, and the nation as a whole, have in many ways failed Noah and other youth like him that question their gender identity.
“I’m 15, and I have to follow politics so closely, because it’s my rights on the line,” Noah said. “I wish I could be ignorant to politics and not know what’s going on, but I have to be in the loop.”
Noah has his pulse on what is happening with politics because he feels that Trump’s and Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin’s actions are taking away “basic human rights” for those in the LGBTQ+ community and rolling back protections put in place to protect kids like him.
The Biden Administration, on the contrary, issued an executive order in March to add protections for LGBTQ+ students under Title IX.
At the time, U.S. Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona said the regulations “build on the legacy of Title IX by clarifying that all our nation’s students can access schools that are safe, welcoming and respect their rights.”
The rule meant students could use the bathroom and locker room consistent with their gender identity, could attend prom and dances with a same-sex date and could depict LGBTQ+ subjects in the art they paint or stories they write.
It’s not farfetched to think that LGBTQ students may have their voices silenced, and the Augusta County School Board demonstrated as much in May. Two School Board members used social media to try to create a controversy and made an attempt to remove a queer student’s art project from a public showcase because they viewed her piece as offensive and not in line with their own values.
“This piece is representative of the idea that growing up queer meant you couldn’t be saved by God,” the student wrote in an artist statement posted to her gallery page on Artsonia.com. “I grew up in a religious background, and that influenced this project.”
Despite the concerns about the portrayal, the School Board, after a lengthy closed-door meeting, ultimately did not take any action, but some members pledged to make policy adjustments to address similar issues in the future.
“The board met and agreed to work on a policy that will address issues like this going forward,” School Board member Timothy Simmons wrote. “As I mentioned previously, it is important that our students have freedom of speech but also that we maintain a culture of respect within our schools. This is a delicate balancing act, but the board is committed to finding a solution.”
The Executive Order by Biden also meant schools couldn’t intentionally misgender students or create an environment where LGBTQ+ students are bullied.
Human Rights Campaign President Kelley Robinson applauded the Biden Administration after the order was announced.
“Today’s rule will be life-changing for so many LGBTQ+ youth and help ensure LGBTQ+ students can receive the same educational experience as their peers: going to dances, safely using the restroom, and writing stories that tell the truth about their own lives,” Robinson said.
The victory for the LGBTQ+ community was short-lived.
Attorney generals throughout the United States, including Virginia AG Jason Miyares, lined up to sue, demanding protection of spaces like locker rooms and fairness in athletic competitions, and the conservative Trump-appointed U.S. Supreme Court said the changes were too wide-sweeping.
In Virginia, the Department of Education, under the direction of Youngkin, also upended the freedom of expression that school provided to many trans and queer students who had not come out to their parents. The regulation introduced by the DOE meant that schools could no longer ask a child how they wish to be identified or what name they’d like to be called. The schools were instructed to only recognize the wishes of students whose parents provided a statement in writing that their child may use a different sex, name or pronoun.
‘Grateful’ for the support of his family
While policymakers make life more difficult for LGBTQ+ students like Noah, he is fortunate to have parents who have been supportive of his transition. They allowed him to wear a binder and use puberty blockers. They also supported and helped Noah legally change his name.
“I’m doing a lot better now,” Noah said. “There were definitely some periods where it was a serious concern, and that was also why my parents agreed to let me do hormone replacement therapy, because I felt like I needed it just to feel like I could go through my teenage years safely.”
Noah’s dad, Bryan Cash, told AFP that he kind of knew Noah was struggling with his gender identity before he came out. Noah went from dressing like a pretty pink princess to wearing baggy clothes and behaving in a way that some might dismiss as simply being a tomboy.
Once Noah did come out, Bryan said, it was a matter of listening, being supportive and working to navigate the unknown.
“There were definitely some gut-check moments, going through all the things with the doctors and stuff,” Bryan said. “You know, people say, ‘Oh, it’s just a phase,’ but until you’re there with your kid and have the conversations with your kid and are with the doctors and everything, you know this is serious. This isn’t just a fleeting thing you are thinking about. It’s life-changing.”
At one point, Noah had to decide if he wanted to get his eggs frozen.
“It’s not always 100 percent reversible,” Bryan Cash said. “Making lifelong decisions at a very young age was the scariest thing for me as a dad … making sure that this is really what he wants, and he’s going to be comfortable with making these decisions in the future.
“He’s never wavered,” Bryan said. “That’s what made it easier for me. There’s never been a second thought or second guessing of any of it.”
While there was bullying, Bryan said the Augusta County school system was “pretty supportive” especially after Noah’s name was legally changed.
“There were still some teachers here and there that either missed it or didn’t work hard to do it right,” Bryan said. “But once his name was changed legally, they didn’t really have a choice.”
Bryan is a handyman by trade and plays poker with friends as time allows. He said that he sometimes has to remind those around him that he has a trans kid and to be careful what they say.
“I’m very open and honest that I have a transgender kid,” Bryan said.
Noah is thankful his dad has his back and thinks that his dad seeing him happier and flourishing reinforces the difficult decisions the family was forced to make.
“Knowing that I have that support system, and him always being there for me, it’s something I wouldn’t want to give up, and I’m very grateful for it every day.”
Others have not been supportive of his transition, in part, Noah thinks, because of their preconceived notion of what being trans means.
“They think trans people are predators or trying to do bad things, when really, I just want to exist and be happy. I just want to be able to wear the clothes I want to wear and be perceived how I want to be perceived and just feel comfortable in my own skin.
“At the end of the day, I just want people to see me as a person. I just want to be part of the community around here. I hate that this label ruins that sometimes.”
Noah knows that without the changes, he would be miserable.
“I wouldn’t have been able to really be a kid or teenager, because I would always have this heavy weight. Now I can just be a kid. I can hang out with my friends, stress about getting home by curfew. I’m very grateful now that I am at the point where I can just kind of not think about it and just be who I am.”
Noah, sitting on the family’s deck, which offers an expansive view of nearby farms and the mountains, and with his two dogs running in the field around him, said he’s grateful that his family has helped him on his journey. He also introduced his new kitten named Ringo, who he said is in many ways his emotional support animal.
“I have a safe place where I can come and just relax and not really have to stress about what’s gonna happen, but I know a lot of people that don’t have that.
“It sucks, because it’s difficult enough just being transgender and dealing with the internal part of it, all the gender dysphoria, that just uncomfortable feeling that you can’t be how you think you should be. And then dealing with getting, excuse my language, but shit from everyone else, it adds a whole layer, and that doesn’t even include your own personal depression, anxiety, school stress, and also, we’re going through puberty, so, hormones. It’s just, there’s so many factors that make it so unbearable for so many people. And I’m very grateful that I can be out, because it takes the stress of holding that secret away.”
Even those who wouldn’t normally agree with his transition, based on religion or whatever else, have at least tolerated the change.
“I guess they’ve kind of gotten used to it, because it’s very obvious that it’s not going away,” Noah said. “I’ve been very consistent since I came out.”
Noah is mature beyond his years, and he’s toughened up since he first came out. He’s very understanding that it might take longer for some people to come to terms with his identity.
“A lot of people don’t see transgender people as people. If more people would actually listen, it would make such a difference.
“I didn’t always have thick skin. Every slur really got to me. I now know how to stand up for myself and not take it. I know that I’m gonna have to deal with ignorant people my whole life, no matter where I’m at. I’ve come to terms with, this is my life, so it’s better I figure it out now and how to handle it properly, just learning how to accept it and deal with it internally, because the sooner I do that, the sooner I can enjoy daily things.”
Time has also helped his family and friends adjust to the change.
“It’s not really something we think about anymore,” Noah said. “Like, when I first came out, it was all I could think about, and it was constantly on my mind. I’ve become a lot more comfortable in my identity and body, being able to go through hormone replace therapy and those changes I felt like I should have gone through naturally. It’s not really something at the front of my mind anymore. I don’t really think it is with anyone else either.
“It’s been four years, so we’re all pretty used to it, I guess.”
‘I’m just a kid’
Noah is in 10th grade and is trying virtual school this year. He’s got a large courseload and is on pace to graduate high school at 16. He said he wants to pursue a career in writing or psychology.
The interview with AFP, he said, is an important first step to sharing his story until he can find the words to share it himself.
“I want to go into writing. I want to give my story and make people realize that I’m just a person trying to live in the best way I can happily, and I feel like coming out and transitioning is how I have to do that.”
Going to public high school was hard, Noah said, for a variety of reasons. Virtual school fits his learning style better.
Noah looks forward to college and believes it will be “a fresh start. Nobody knows who you are. They don’t know your past unless you want to share it.”
Above all else, he wants people who are cruel to anyone coming out, especially to kids, to realize that what they say hurts and to remember that a trans kid or queer kid is still a person.
“I want people to know that I’m a person, I’m a kid. I hated being known as the trans kid because that’s not all I am. I even forget I’m trans sometimes until someone makes an ignorant comment or something. I don’t think about it.”
He’d said he’s not that different from any other teenager.
“I love to write. I love to read. I love listening to music and playing music. I’m just a kid. I’m just trying to be a kid. I’m very grateful that I have the emotional intelligence to know how I feel and can put words to it. But it’s not always easy.”
Video: Crystal Graham shares Noah’s story
Related stories
Search “LGBTQ” on Augusta Free Press.
- Update: Augusta County School Board punts on removing ‘offensive’ art from art show
- Augusta County School Board pledges to review options to ban ‘offensive’ student artwork
- U.S. Supreme Court indecision leaves states split on updated transgender protections
- ACLU sues Liberty University after woman fired: ‘You can be transgender and Christian’
- Virginia author aims to reach queer youth with message: ‘You are beautiful’
- Coalition of 16 state AGs pushes Supreme Court to protect parental right to make decisions
- Poll: LGBTQ+ youth report unsafe school environments, personal safety concerns
- Action Alliance ‘deeply disappointed’ with AG Jason Miyares over LGBTQ+ lawsuit
- Youth suicide up nearly 50 percent; few who died had mental health diagnosis
- Mental health crisis center has support; momentum stalled until location, funding secured
- Study: Researchers find increases in preteen suicide, especially among girls
- Researcher: Study finds ‘significant increase in pediatric suicides’ in Virginia, nationwide
- Youth suicide: Funding would prepare healthcare professionals for bigger role in prevention
If you or someone you know needs support now, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org
For local mental health resources, visit AFP’s Project Mental Health page.
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Crystal Graham
