Scientists may have discovered a second moon: Or did they discover (gulp) heaven?

Scientists have discovered, according to my Google News feed today, a new quasi-moon that has been in earth’s orbit since approximately 100 BCE.

Being scientists, they gave it a mechanical name – 2023 FW13.

I’ve got a theory about what it really is: heaven.

Hear me out.

For starters, there’s bad news here for those who want to believe in the afterlife: it’s only 50 feet across.

That’s basically three SUVs parked back to back to back.

So if this is heaven, ain’t many of us getting there.

There is good news: the scientists – sorry to harp on this, but they have to be more imaginative with their names – are estimating that this quasi-moon will continue to follow its current orbital path until roughly 3700 CE.

Which is to say, if this thing is heaven, the rapture isn’t anytime soon.

Keep in mind, I’m just theorizing here.

The three-SUV rock orbiting the earth is real, though.

We know that much.

The timing, 100 BCE – which is also 100 BC; sorry, I’m a secularist – sure is curious.

A hundred years before Mary and Joseph had a kid who led a political movement that reverberates 2,000 years later, this rock starts following us around.

Before you dismiss this – Chris, it’s 100 years – 100 years in science is a rounding error.

Anyway, at a minimum, if there is a God, he’s at least got a piece of real estate to use to keep an eye on us.