Which means it’s prediction time. Let’s start at the bottom of the card, mainly because the Daniel Bryan-Triple H match stips are forcing us to.
Fatal Four-Way WWE Tag Title Match: Not sure why we have to endure this one. Cesaro and Jack Swagger will finally split, turning Cesaro face and making sense of the nonsensical booking that put them together in the first place. Love The Usos, but it seems pretty obvious that Vince McMahon is totally into the dumb Los Matadores gimmick, so let’s go there. Winners: Los Matadores.
Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational: Again, why? Short and sweet. Winner: AJ Lee.
The Shield vs. Kane and The New Age Outlaws: What is this? Raw? I might skip the first hour. The only hope here is that Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins turn on Roman Reigns so he can finally begin his march toward being the monster face that he is destined to become. Winner: Kane and The New Age Outlaws.
Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: The entertainment value here will be with whatever surprise entrants we end up getting. Otherwise, this is the Royal Rumble with no drama. Winner: Jake the Snake Roberts.
John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt: How it should go … Bray Wyatt. A Wyatt win cements him as your top heel. How it will go … come on, man, you know Cena isn’t going to lose at WrestleMania to a backwoods hillbilly. The hope here is that WWE lets Wyatt dominate the match and has him lose to Cena with some sort of schmoz ending (maybe botched interference from the Wyatts, with Roman Reigns making the save?). Winner: John Cena.
Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar: Do you really think The Streak will end this year? The question here is, Can Lesnar put on a believable match as a ‘Taker opponent on the biggest stage of them all? (Other question: Do we get the surprise Sting cameo we all want to see at the end?) Winner: Undertaker.
Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H: Think here for a sec … a Triple H win puts him in the main event as the third wheel to Randy Orton and Batista. Three plodding musclebums for the WWE title … good reason to flip the switch early and reconsider re-upping on the WWE Network subscription in six months. No way Bryan loses this match, but it has to go on for a while, and Triple H has to do some damage (say, injuring Bryan’s knee or shoulder), to make The Bearded One that much more the underdog heading into the main event. Then we will find out (from Triple H backstage before the main event) that punishing Bryan and letting him into the main event was his plan all along. Good booking. Winner: Daniel Bryan.
Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan: The monsters take turns trying to pounce on the injured Bryan, then turn on each other for a while, allowing Bryan time to recover. Triple H appears at ringside to try to get cooler heads to prevail. Bryan gets a near-fall on Orton, but Triple H interferes to break up the count, leaving us to think that Bryan is doomed. Ref bump, then Triple H assists Batista to set up a Batista Bomb on Bryan for the ultimate screwjob finish. Out of nowhere, CM Punk appears, interrupts the Batista Bomb, puts Triple H out with the GTS, Bryan hits the running knee on Batista, the ref revives, and we have our winner and new WWE champ. Winner: Daniel Bryan.
– Column by Chris Graham