Home First date conversation ideas: How to ease your anxiety
Local

First date conversation ideas: How to ease your anxiety

Contributors
online dating app
(© Studio Romantic – stock.adobe.com)

Why did you try online dating? Tired of sitting home and surfing Amazon Prime shows? Did you wish for someone to do things with on the weekend? These are common feelings for people on dating apps. They want a new friendship or emotional connection, but they find it’s scary to communicate with strangers. Send a few messages, but understand that it’s hard to manifest a relationship from nothing more than photo likes. You must like the same activities or explore new ones together.

Online dating looks easy, but there is a hard part – taking your flirty relationship offline and finally meeting. But, where do you begin, especially when you’re nervous? Take a deep breath! You’re only human. Being outgoing and confident only takes you so far in dating.

How to succeed with first date chats in online dating

There is no pressure to find the perfect person unless you put that on yourself. Be true to your personality. People will accept your flaws if you’re authentic. People begin to sense phony baloneys. Showing your personality doesn’t mean oversharing when chatting on a dating site. Take your time and say things you would say to a coworker or friend (whom you meet at an office party). Your modus operandi is keeping the conversation casual and carefree. When you see an interesting person online, consider reading their profile first, as you get all the tools you need to succeed in conversation with them. It makes first conversations and icebreakers much more fluid, as when you encounter a member on Steamysnaps, a site with a detailed profile structure where members are encouraged to tell lots of things about themselves, you can put the other person at ease and say interesting things that come to mind regarding what they chose to tell about their hobbies or personality in their profile. If there is a pause in the chat, that’s okay. Both people need to reflect on the chat before moving ahead.

Try to make a connection on dating chats

Being open to someone talking about her life is a start. Ask something about her profile. Keep going with that conversation until it gets boring. People respond to questions but don’t ask too many. Don’t be an interviewer. If you take a lot of breaks from the conversation or take more than a day to reply, the other person might lose interest.

Chat about your desires and ambitions

On a dating site, the other person has anxiety too. Be an active participant in the conversation and respond to his or her messages. While it’s tempting to chat nonstop about your passions, bring the conversation back to her. Perhaps, you’re planning a trip to see a new country or pursuing a graduate degree online. Please don’t babble on.

Talk about your hobbies

You can also discuss things that aren’t in your profile. If someone asks about your tastes in music, food, or travel, be specific. An alternative is sharing a funny story about someone you met or an embarrassing moment. For example, a bride was at her wedding when her garter slid down her ankle while she was at the altar. People were snickering during the formal ceremony. She was embarrassed, but, thankfully, her back was to the guests.

Discuss your favorite movies

This is a great open topic. Thousands of movies from around the world are shared in every language by video streaming services. However, older movies and foreign films are flicks that your “date” might not know. Focus on one movie at a time after explaining the film genre that you like most. Alternatively, find a genre that he or she likes before getting into the movie discussion. There are many funny moments in your favorite movies to discuss. If you wish to replay a scene or share why a favorite actor or director inspired you, that’s okay. Don’t apologize for sharing your interests. But, do show genuine excitement about your potential date. Be a good listener while respecting his or her boundaries.

Conversation builds trust and common interests between you. There is no guarantee of any specific outcome, so have fun.

Story by Olivia Simpson

Contributors

Contributors

Have a guest column, letter to the editor, story idea or a news tip? Email editor Chris Graham at [email protected]. Subscribe to AFP podcasts on Apple PodcastsSpotifyPandora and YouTube.