If the holidays are hard for you, you are not alone. For people who struggle with their mental health, the holidays can make things harder.
And for many people, myself included, seasonal depressive disorder due to the holidays or change in time can make the season anything far from the most wonderful time of the year.
As a suicide prevention advocate and former state director of a national suicide prevention nonprofit, I’m often asked to speak about what is known as the holiday blues.
There are many reasons that people can feel a sense of dread when it comes to Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. It’s a lot of work to decorate and cook. You may not have the extra money for gifts. Some people have complicated relationships with family – or on the flip side, just can’t spend time with their family due to distance or work or other factors. Sometimes, it’s the first holiday season after the loss of a loved one (raise my hand). And because of social media, many people have an unrealistic expectations of what the holidays should look like or want things to be like they were when they were a kid.
So how do those who struggle manage the holiday season? Most experts say it’s helpful to find healthy ways to cope instead of medicating yourself to get through.
It’s different for everyone but here are some suggestions that might help you make the best of the holiday season.
Tips for managing the holiday season
- Say no: It’s OK if you decline a party invitation – even to close family events – if it is not good for your well-being. Create a pros and cons list for attending. Remember, you always have a choice.
- Stick to a budget: If money is tight in the holiday season, set a budget, and stick to it. You can also look for fun things to do that are free like building a snowman or looking at holiday decorations in your neighborhood.
- Prioritize self care: No matter how busy things are, take time for you. Set time to read a book or see a movie, take a hot shower or bath, get a massage, or listen to music, take a walk or spend time some other way in nature.
- Stick to healthy habits: There are so many temptations during the holidays, but you will feel better if you maintain a healthy diet and exercise daily, according to experts. It can be as simple as parking further away when shopping and getting in a few extra steps as a result. You also want to be sure to get plenty of sleep.
- Limit alcohol: If you are feeling depressed or anxious, try to limit your alcohol intake. Drinking can make you feel worse – not better.
- Be kind to yourself: Be gentle to yourself throughout the holiday. How do you talk to your best friend? Do you talk to yourself the same way?
- Volunteer: If you are feeling isolated or lonely, volunteering can be a great solution. You have instant connection with other volunteers and those you are helping, and generally, most experts say, you have a sense of pride that can lift your spirits.
What to do if you are worried about a friend, loved one, or yourself
If you are worried about a friend or loved one, be sure to check in with them more during the holiday season. It’s helpful when someone is struggling to know that they have supportive people in their lives.
Simply listening can also go a long way to helping your friend or loved one. Be sure to be engaged and ask follow-up questions and respond with supportive statements. Do not offer advice or try to solve their problems. Simply listening often helps a lot.
If you feel like further help is needed, encouraging a friend to seek professional help can be helpful.
988 lifeline
Seasonal depression should be taken seriously. While it is a myth that suicide rates are higher during the holidays, it is still a serious issue.
If your friend or loved one speaks about being a burden or feeling hopeless, or has changes in their behavior, extreme mood swings or they give away possessions, they may be thinking of suicide.
The 988 lifeline is available 24 hours a day.
Unlike 911, it doesn’t have to be an emergency to call the lifeline. You can call to ask for advice for a friend or for yourself. People can call, text or chat 988, and be connected to a trained counselor who will provide support and provide resources to the caller.
Resources
- Project Mental Health, a service of Augusta Free Press
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
AFP interview on holiday blues (8:47 minutes)
Crystal Graham is a suicide prevention advocate and loss survivor. She joins the “Street Knowledge” videocast to offer tips for people struggling with the holiday blues. “Street Knowledge” is hosted by AFP editor Chris Graham, an award-winning sportswriter who is also an author and ESPN3 baseball play-by-play broadcaster.
NBC29 interview on holiday blues (3:33 minutes)
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Crystal Graham
