Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen cancelled his concert in North Carolina in protest of the state’s “bathroom law.” I thought that was decent. Then I discover that seven other states are considering following the lead of North Carolina. The Boss probably won’t be going there either. I’m still baffled that transgender use of the bathroom is an issue. As I always ask, who checks? Is there a bathroom monitor? I’m just an advocate of flushing and washing your hands.
However, I have bathroom issues. I just want to be left alone in the bathroom and be able to close the door. That hasn’t happened since 1980 – the year our oldest child was born. Anyone that is a first time parent knows that impending fear that our precious little one will need us immediately. You learn to “go” quickly. Sometimes, you wonder if you flushed or washed your hands. Leaving the bathroom door open becomes a habit.
Then, the second one arrives. We have learned we can actually use the bathroom without fear but the first one is now toddling around so, again, we must continue to leave the bathroom door open. We even take our children with us into the public stalls so they don’t wreak havoc. By the last child, we’re willing to go to the bathroom outside with the dog just for some alone time.
When my children became teenagers, leaving the bathroom door open served as a method of escape. “Gross, Mom!” Exactly. Leave me alone for just a few minutes. But the habit set in. I would find myself leaving the bathroom door open when we had guests. I was already conditioned to go quickly. I would listen to make sure no one was accidentally approaching and always wondering if I flushed and washed my hands.
My husband never got into that habit. Oh, he’s got enough other habits that get on my last nerve (like asking me stupid questions while I’m writing) but he’s always locked himself in the bathroom. For hours. Reading. Contemplating. I don’t understand how anyone can sit on the toilet so long without getting atrophy. When our children were grown and gone I still left the bathroom door open. My husband was repulsed. “Why don’t you close the door?” Habit.
I replaced my human babies with canine babies. The same bathroom habit continued. Sure, I do crate training (with the puppies not me, although there are times when being in a crate seems appealing) but I tend to use the bathroom more now that I’m older. My loyal companions follow me everywhere, even into the bathroom. I’ve tried closing the door but they cry or scratch at the door and then I feel like a bad human being. So, the door stays open.
My husband is set in his ways. He locks himself in. The dogs can cry or scratch at the door but they’ve learned that he won’t open the door, so they look for me.
I’d like to have a state “bathroom bill” passed in Virginia. It would be simple and I hope it wouldn’t keep Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen from performing concerts. “All human and other species will leave Linda alone for five minutes maximum while she is using the bathroom.” That’s it. This way I can be certain I’ve flushed and washed my hands. Anyone is welcome to use my bathroom after I’m done.
Column by Linda R. Jones
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