Separation and divorce are lengthy, misunderstood processes often resulting in pain, stress and emotional exhaustion for both parties involved. This can lead to hostilities developing between them trying to agree on a settlement and can have adverse effects on their children. However, it is fairly possible for you to split from your partner amicably. Hiring a good local divorce attorney, such as Salt Lake divorce attorney if you live in Salt Lake, can make the process easier for you. Here are 4 more tips on how to have a friendly divorce:
Understand Why The Relationship Ended Without Blaming Each Other
An ending relationship is a difficult situation that creates a cocktail of negative emotions, resulting in you blaming your significant other for the failed marriage, and wanting revenge for the hurt you feel. However, accusations, blame games and impulses for revenge only worsen the emotionally-draining situation. You can simplify your divorce by working with your partner to understand which of your respective actions led to the divorce. Rather than judging each other’s mistakes, evaluate your own actions as well as how these actions led to your marriage unraveling. Some factors that can lead to the failure of marriage include stress due to work, medical issues, infidelity, mental health issues, drug abuse, skill deficits like anger management issues and poor listening skills. You can also ask a close friend or family member to give you an unbiased evaluation of your contribution to the end of your marriage.
Once you and your spouse have individually evaluated your own actions, you can then sit together to discuss and understand how your marriage deteriorated. This will involve listening to understand the other person and displaying empathy for your spouse. If you both decide to give your relationship another chance, I recommend hiring a couple’s counselor to guide you better. However, in case you agree on divorce as the best option, you will now have more closure since you understand the events, which led to your separation.
Rectify Your Mistakes
Once you have evaluated your mistakes, you should work on correcting the behaviors, which led to your marriage falling apart. You can learn to make a habit out of being more forthcoming about your concerns with your partner or try to not criticize or blame them unnecessarily. If you were dismissive of their concerns and distress during your marriage, you should try to display more empathy for your significant other. By focusing on learning from your mistakes and improving yourself, you can become better as a person during the divorce. This will help the settlement process occur smoothly since you will be a more empathetic person to deal with. If you have children, watching you try to correct the negative qualities in your personality will also make you a good role model for them.
Learn Problem Solving And Shared Decision Making Skills
Often, it can be easier to believe you know best and handle situations according to your preferred mode of action. However, in a divorce, you must try to come to a decision that includes your spouse’s considerations as well. To do so, you will have to engage in a collaborative dialogue. This may result in a compromise but it will let you both form an agreement while remaining friendly with each other.
Toe The Fine Line Between Fairness And Generosity
If you are trying to remain on friendly terms with your ex-spouse, you may end up being too generous to them in the settlement agreement because you want to stay in their good books. On the other hand, you may also end up trying to take advantage of a generous partner out of resentment or simply greed. Both actions can affect you negatively in the long run, so it is best to shape a settlement agreement that is fair to both parties.