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UVA experts on teens: ‘It’s not unusual’ for them to have thoughts of suicide

Crystal Graham
teen girl with face in hands
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While most teens are physically healthy, they may need help with their mental well-being. One in five teens have a mental-health issue of some kind ranging from depression to anxiety or from an eating disorder to substance abuse, according to experts from the UVA Teen and Young Adult Health Center in Charlottesville.

“Most teenagers physically are very healthy, and most teenagers don’t need a lot of healthcare,” said Dr. Susan Gray, a pediatric teen medicine specialist with UVA Health. “I would say what is more common is needing help with mental health.”

The mental health of young adults is the subject of the 12th Dyan A. Aretakis Teen Culture Conference on Nov. 11 at the Irving Theater on the Downtown Mall in Charlottesville. The conference runs from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. and aims to address the physical, emotional, cognitive and social wellbeing of teens and young adults.

“It can be hard to tell the difference between somebody’s having a bad day and somebody who needs more mental health help,” said Dr. Gray, “but I think the patterns that we often see are a departure from their normal so spending more time along in their room, spending time away from their friends, changes in their appetite, eating more, eating less, spending less time with loved ones. And so those are all reasons when people who care about young people should seek help.”

Mary Sullivan, a teen health advocacy and education coordinator for UVA Health, said that in working with teens “it’s not unusual for them to have thoughts of suicide.”

She said that a teen expressing a sense of hopelessness or making statements that indicate that everyone would be better off without them could indicate suicidality.

“As a parent of three now adult children, when you’re worried about your teen, your natural inclination is to push, push, push, and ask a lot of questions, and sometimes, your voice sounds as if you’re angry when in fact you are worried.

“I ask parents to resist that urge to push and ask a hundred questions because for some teens that can feel burdensome or even like an assault.”

Sullivan said she encourages teens and their parents to identify other trusted adults in their lives who the teen can go to for help and advice and guidance and role modeling. Parents, she said, shouldn’t be threatened by that, but they should be encouraged that a teen has more caring adults in their lives.

A challenge for teens is that when they have friends who are struggling, they are often reluctant to involve adults.

“They feel like this is something they can manage themselves with their friends,” Sullivan said. “We’ve had teens come in here and say ‘I actually feel like I’m doing really well, but I’m exhausted because my friends, I’m sort of their go to when they’re having trouble.’

“That’s a lot for a teen to bear.”

Social media, and its impact on teens, is controversial, according to Dr. Gray. Teens today spend a lot of time on their phones and computers and less time with people in real life.

“I think that we’re still doing studies to understand the impact of that because there are some online communities that are positive and supportive, but there are others that are really negative. I think the jury is still out.

“I think where it becomes a problem is when kids are interacting with social media to the exclusion of real people and real connections in their lives and too much of anything is a bad thing.”

If a teen immerses themselves into social media versus in-person connections, that can project artificial images and slices of life.

Conference information


The upcoming 12th Dyan A. Aretakis Teen Culture Conference will look at specific mental health challenges including eating disorders, substance use disorder and social media and its impact on teens and young adults. The conference will also focus on advocacy and networking.

The afternoon session will include young adults talking about their own mental health challenges, how they manage those, what has been helpful to them and what they suggest to professionals about what might be beneficial to them.

Sullivan said conference attendees are usually a mix of health care professionals, providers, physicians, nurse practitioners, nurses, psychotherapists, teachers, youth leaders, clergy and parents.

“I hope they learn more about these common issues that are faced by teens, but I really hope they leave with a sense of hope,” Sullivan said.

Registration fees range from $50 to $150. For those who cannot attend in person, a virtual option is also available.

More information is available online.


Search “mental health” on AFP.


If you or someone you know needs support now, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org
For local mental health resources, visit AFP’s Project Mental Health page.

Crystal Graham

Crystal Graham

Crystal Abbe Graham is the regional editor of Augusta Free Press. A 1999 graduate of Virginia Tech, she has worked for 25 years as a reporter and editor for several Virginia publications, written a book, and garnered more than a dozen Virginia Press Association awards for writing and graphic design. She was the co-host of "Viewpoints," a weekly TV news show, and co-host of Virginia Tonight, a nightly TV news show on PBS. Her work on "Virginia Tonight" earned her a national Telly award for excellence in television.