Money in the Bank Review: Two hours of bad ‘Three Stooges’

So, Otis is going to be a WWE world champ soon? I can see Asuka, even with her so-so booking over the past couple of years. But, Otis?

Those are your two big winners from the WWE Money in the Bank pay-per-view on Sunday, which timed out at a record-low two hours, 24 minutes.

This came as the decision was made to air both of the main-event matches simultaneously, as WWE stitched together the pre-taped men’s and women’s MITB matches, which were presented as fights from the bottom floor of the WWE headquarters in Stamford, Conn., to the roof.

You want to credit WWE for trying to do something different with social distancing taking fans out of the production equation, but, no, not this way.

The matches reminded you of the worst of 1980s-era WWF, complete with a dumb food-fight sequence and a dumber (if that’s possible) scene with a worker mopping a floor leading to, well, you know what something like that would lead to.

The insults to our intelligence were unfortunately not limited to the main events.

There was also an odd sequence leading to the finish of the Braun Strowman-Bray Wyatt match that played off the inane Firefly Funhouse segments that went over like a wet fart in church, though, thankfully, there was nobody in the church because of the social distancing.

We get it, that WWE hasn’t called its product pro wrestling, in favor of it being sports entertainment, for a couple of decades now, but for it to even be sports entertainment, there has to be some level of sporting activity involved.

Last night’s show had roughly 20 minutes of sports, a top-notch WWE title match in which champ Drew McIntyre successfully defended against former champ Seth Rollins.

The rest was two hours of bad “Three Stooges” shorts, with Curly one of the two big winners, promising more of the same in terms of nonsense in the near-term.

Wake me when the lockdowns are lifted.

Story by Chris Graham