A headline in my email box today reminded me of what’s wrong with the American news media.
“Kevin Federline,” the headline screamed at me, “Breaks Silence on Ex-Wife Britney Spears Voluntarily Checking Into Rehab.”
Stop the presses, indeed.
The world was in a holding pattern awaiting whatever it was that Kevin Federline was going to share with us as to what was going through his mind over the Britney Spears situation.
When I clicked, out of frustration more than curiosity, I had to quickly remind myself who Kevin Federline is – and I’m embarrassed to realize that I wasted brain space to store the data card about him being a former backup dancer on a Britney Spears tour who later became her baby daddy.
I hope when I finally start suffering from dementia that this is among the first things that floats away into the ether.
Why is this news?
I mean, Us Weekly, the source of this nugget – when did I sign up for their emails? – quoted a spokesperson for Federline.
Why do we live in where an obvious nobody like Kevin Federline has a spokesperson?
“Kevin is aware of the reports that she has checked into rehab and that if she needs help, he is happy that she is getting help and that the decision appears to be one that she made and not one imposed upon her by others if it was,” that spokesperson, also an attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, apparently shared with TMZ, per the Us Weekly account.
This wasn’t even original reporting.
Us Weekly is aggregating this crap from TMZ.
“The key is that whatever the recommended treatment plan is, that she follows it and completes it,” Kaplan said.
Why should anybody care about what Kevin G-d Federline thinks about whatever is going on with Britney Spears?
This is what we’re wasting the talents of Mike Vulpo, the author of the piece, on?
According to his bio, Vulpo is an alum of the University of Southern California, which has a well-respected journalism school, with alums including Art Buchwald – I remember reading his nationally syndicated columns when I was a kid – and a bunch of people I’ve never heard of, because there aren’t really any big-name writers anymore.
Will Farrell, incidentally, also a graduate of that journalism program at Southern Cal.
The guy who would go on to portray, among other characters, Ron Burgundy, studied broadcast journalism, and did an internship at a local TV station as a sports broadcaster.
I learned something today – actually, two things.
That Kevin Federline has a spokesperson, and Will Farrell was almost the guy doing the three minutes on local sports at 11 o’clock.
Anyway, I don’t know that Mike Vulpo is going to be the next Art Buchwald, who maybe one or two of you reading this have ever heard of, writing about Kevin Federline.
How about, we put more of the resources that we’re wasting on a backup dancer who hooked up with a pop star 20 years ago into, I dunno, covering a city council meeting?
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Chris Graham
