James Carville has it all figured out: Democrats aren’t winning elections because we’ve turned off the dudebros.
Carville, in a guest hit on something called “The People’s Cabinet” podcast, hosted by a former Joe Biden staffer that even Joe Biden didn’t know was a Joe Biden staffer, said messages from Dems like “the future is female” and “always believe the woman is never wrong” send a signal to the dudebros.
“Men are like, Shit, do I count? What about my life? I mean, we’re only 48 percent of the voting population,” said Carville, who wants Democrats to just let the boys be boys.
As in, you know, grab ‘em by the pussy, every once in a while, they can smackabitch, just because.
Seriously, this guy.
How he buttressed his argument here was comical.
“If you ever want to understand the problem we have with younger men, listen to NPR for five minutes, four times a day, and you will understand,” Carville said.
Because dudebros are listening to NPR, and are, like, Shit, do I count?
This next bit is classic:
“Let’s say you work in an Atlanta tire shop, nine, 10 hours a day. You’re changing tires, you’re working your ass off. It’s hot. You go home. You want a cold beer, you want a hamburger, and you want to watch the football game. No, no, you can’t do that,” Carville said, with a straight face and everything.
This particular story about a guy in the tire shop goes on, but I need to stop for a sec to point out here, that this story sounded good in his head before he engaged his mouth is bad enough.
“Not football. No, no hamburgers. How many calories does that have? Do you know what that does? Beer? No. You should be drinking a nice fruit spritzer or something. They’re like, Oh, get off of my back, right?” Carville went on with his imaginary Dems-condemning-dudes scenario.
I doubt that I’m the only liberal Dem who watches football, eats hamburgers and drinks beer, but I digress.
More on our imaginary tire-shop dudebro, who gets this imaginary advice from Carville’s imaginary Dem:
“And then, If you have sex, you must wear a condom.”
Again, maybe this is just me, but dudebros who want to have sex without a condom should be enthusiastically Democrat, because we’re not the ones tsk-tsking the abortion thing; that would be the other side.
Carville’s final complaint:
“There are no television shows about these people anymore. They’ve been erased from the culture. We’ve just erased them. You don’t exist,” Carville said.
“No one sees you. No one cares about you. You’ve had it made all your life. And a lot of these people say, I got it made? What are you talking about? We just lecture people too much. As opposed to saying, Man, you work hard.”
Carville seems to be telling us here that a TV show about a dudebro who works at a tire shop in Atlanta who just wants a beer, a hamburger, football, condom-less sex that may or may not be consensual, and the occasional pat on the back for persevering through it all, is the only chance we have to save American democracy.
Unfortunately for us, Harvey Weinstein isn’t around to greenlight this show for us, so, sorry, folks, the democratic experiment, it’s over.