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Fifty Plus: Keeping up with technology

Linda R. Jones

fifty plus technologyI haven’t had fake nails in seven years.  It got annoying getting a fill every two weeks.  A girl at work, Deidre, has the cutest very long gel nails and she can work with them.  I missed getting my nails done so I did it.  Lots of fun until I tried texting on my IPhone 5 in an Otter Box.  I couldn’t use my cell phone.  The horror!

My first order of business was to get a new phone.  I was due for an upgrade and the IPhone 6s Plus worked perfectly for my new nails.  I also appreciated the larger screen since my eyesight is getting worse.  I researched online to avoid going to my carrier and the price was near eight hundred dollars.  They would finance at twenty-four percent interest.  That was clearly not going to happen.

So I trekked over to my carrier.  Verizon.  I’ve been using them for a few years.  In the past, an upgrade involved paying two hundred dollars for a new phone and a two year contract.  Things have changed.  The phone was at eight hundred dollars, it would be financed with no interest for two years, and I wouldn’t be locked in to a two year contract.  What?  Why are these gadgets so expensive?  Oh sure I’m not locked into a two year contract but I’ll still owe for the new cell phone.  I didn’t have the energy to argue.  My new nails needed the phone.

Everything important was transferred to the new phone.  Pictures and videos of my family were critical.  Contacts were critical because since the creation of cell phones, I no longer remember numbers.  Most apps and ringtones, however, did not transfer.  On a side note, since when did “apps” become part of the dictionary?  Even my Verizon “pay the bill” app didn’t transfer.

Here we go.  I started to download the apps and fortunately there is some cloud looking icon with an arrow that means somewhere in cellular space someone knows I already have this app.  Just touch the screen with my new nails.  Initially, I thought the icon meant it was going to rain.  Fairly simple until I realized I forgot all my usernames and passwords.  That festival sent me right to the wine aisle.

Ringtones.  I’m Pavlov’s dog.  I have specific ringtones for family and friends.  I can’t accept a call without knowing who is calling even though the name shows up on the screen which I can read on this bigger screen even without my glasses.  I couldn’t figure it out.  There’s some way to synch my music with my computer and time it and transfer it and I handed my new phone to my husband.  I had to buy all the ringtones again.  Well, I did but I’m sure some five-year-old could have shown me how to do it for free.

My husband has the patience to experiment with new phones and apps.  I think my phone is pretty much set up.  My nails look great against the screen.  I was so excited to show Deidre my nails and phone.  Since she’s so young and technology savvy I expected to get more information on how to use the phone.  The first thing she told me was the IPhone 7 is due out in November.

I always said I was never going to get a bar code when we get to that point in technology.  At this point, let’s just it over with.  Bring on 1984 and Brave New World.  I want that microchip implant so I don’t have to upgrade anymore or remember usernames and passwords.  I’m close to breaking.  It would certainly make it easier for me to keep my nails.

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