The defense being offered by Jay Jones diehards to the “two bullets” texts is that he was referencing a bit from the TV show “The Office.”
To wit:
“If I had a gun with two bullets,” the character Michael Scott, played by Steve Carrell, “and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”
Get it?
Toby is the HR guy at the Scranton office of Dunder Mifflin; everybody hates the HR guy.
The joke being made by Jay Jones – in his texts, he subbed in Pol Pot for Bin Laden – then, would be: everybody hates Todd Gilbert.
ICYMI
- Trump on Jay Jones: ‘Animal,’ ‘third-rate intellect,’ should be ‘in prison’
- Whatabout: Jay Jones death wish vs. Winsome Earle-Sears ‘murder is murder’
Turns out, on that, not.
I can say with confidence that not even every high-ranking Democrat hates Todd Gilbert.
I got an email for the column that I wrote last week on Gilbert going into how he rather bravely resisted the push from higher-ups in Trumpdom to launch a frivolous investigation into Russiagate, and without revealing who it was that sent me the note, it was … somebody.
ICYMI
I digress.
But I get it, we all like “Office” references, because “Office” references are a way to relate.
Me personally, I’m still partial to “Seinfeld” references, but I’m 53.
Jay Jones, at 36, was 16 when the U.S. version of “The Office” debuted.
You go with what you grew up with.
Not meaning to quibble, but I guess I will here, there were other, shall we say, less unseemly – ahem, less politically devastating – “Office” references that Jones could have texted to a former female Republican House colleague to get a dig in at Todd Gilbert.
You know, that wouldn’t have ended up putting his bid for attorney general in serious jeopardy.
What he should have texted instead
“That’s what she said.”
The most famous contribution from “The Office” to the lexicon.
I found it hilarious that the writers of “The Office” made this one a go-to, given how this was our go-to in high school in the ’80s.
Every time I hear that line, I’m back in ninth-grade geometry.
The limitation in terms of using “that’s what she said” as a political critique: it’s the response in a call-and-response.
To use it against Todd Gilbert, for instance, it would have to go something like …
Jay Jones: Say something about Todd Gilbert being a tool.
Former female House Republican colleague: Todd Gilbert is a tool? What?
Jay Jones: That’s what she said.
“Friends joke with one another: Um, you’re poor. Well, hey, your mama’s dead. That’s what friends do.”
In retrospect, maybe not this one.
“I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.”
I mean, Todd Gilbert is a tad bit fleshy.
“I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket, in a blanket.”
See above, about Todd Gilbert being fleshy.
“The real crime, I think, was the beard.”
Hmmm.
A joke about a Republican state legislator marrying a woman to cover for, you know.
This is a huge missed opportunity.
“It’s like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong, and if you don’t like it, you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife, and I’ll say it to my next one, too.”
This one would have actually fit well, given that the texts in question were sent by Jones after his breakup with the House of Delegates.
“I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.”
That, actually, was the whole problem here.
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Chris Graham
