#WhyIWalk: In memory of my mother

Leading up to the 2016 Greater Augusta Out of the Darkness Walk in Staunton, Augusta Free Press shares #WhyIWalk profiles of local people and why they are choosing to walk on October 8.

Register for free to walk or learn more at bit.ly/2awG5aT.

When my Mom died from suicide, it was a complete shock. She had never been diagnosed or treated for any mental illness, and I certainly believed that her only illnesses were physical in nature; she had been struggling with chronic back degeneration and pain and a resulting lessening in mobility for several years. On top of that, she also suffered from IBS, headaches, and fibromyalgia.

For several months after her death, I truly believed that my mother had not mental illness, and simply “made a choice” to end her life due to her after her declining health. That was hard to believe, but it was easier at the time than fathoming that she had a mental illness. You can imagine my confusion when I saw on her death certificate that her doctor attributed her suicide to “chronic pain AND anxiety.” This was the first I had ever heard or thought of her having any mental illness, and it not only surprised me but upset me, because I, like most people, associated suicide and mental illness with stigmas and myths.

Fortunately I was living in Raleigh, NC at the time, and as the city had a very active Suicide Survivor’s group, I decided to attend one of their conferences to learn more. It was a very emotional day for me, but also a true turning point in my understanding of my mother’s death and my options for processing the loss. It also was the day that I knew I wasn’t alone in my grief.<

In 2015, I walked in the inaugural Out of the Darkness Walk in Staunton in memory of my mother, Susan, who died from suicide in April of 2014. I plan to walk again this year.

#WhyIWalk: Greater Augusta Out of the Darkness

• Walk With Us on October 8
• Walk Location: Gypsy Hill Park in Staunton
• Check-in/Registration Time: 10/08/2016 at 8:00 am
• Walk Begins: 10:00 am
• Walk Ends: 12:30 pm