Former NFL practice squad tackle dummy Josh Hokit is undefeated in UFC after his second-round TKO of Derrick Lewis at UFC Freedom 250, staged on the front lawn of the White House.
The TKO is not why 99.8 percent of America heard the name Josh Hokit for the first time last night or this morning.
“Michelle Obama is a man! Am I right, America?” Hokit told a shit-eatin’ grinning Joe Rogan, whose job as the color commentator on the broadcast was to hold the microphone for Hokit to spew tinfoil hat conspiracy theories in the post-fight interview.
So much for Dana White, in his post-event press conference, trying to get away with saying that “hopefully tonight created some unity.”
“Like, even for the people that thought this was going to be some big political statement or something, this wasn’t. This was Americans, all Americans, celebrating the birthday,” White said, with a straight face and everything.
At least the event didn’t go off without a (trailer) hitch. Weather delayed the scheduled 8 p.m. ET start by almost an hour, and there was thunder and lightning nearby even as the participants in the first bloodsport spectacle of the evening were making their way to the octagon on the county fair setup on the South Lawn.
Rogan, the MAGA podcaster known for just asking questions, was widely roasted on the socials for appearing on camera in an ill-fitting suit with a way-too-short tie.
Sample comments:
- “joe rogan looks like joe rogan ate joe rogan”
- “joe rogan looks like the nypd fished him out of the east river”
- “Joe Rogan looks like the Mucinex guy but red”
- “Joe Rogan looks like if Shrek had to dress as a human to attend a custody hearing”
- “joe rogan looks like somebody tried to grow their own sylvester stallone in their bathtub and ran out of money”
Hokit, the brain-scrambled pride of Fresno State University, jumped down from the holding pen after slurring Michelle Obama and placed a chain around the neck of a surprisingly still awake Donald Trump, who was sitting ringside, in the open air – which is to say, clearly doesn’t need that ballroom that he’s been yammering on and on about.
Unity, was the theme of the night, and I’ll say, it was a success.
I don’t know that a couple hundred million of us were ever more unified than we were last night in praying for a plague of locusts and frogs to rain down.
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Chris Graham
