“Oh, my pa-pa, so funny, so adorable
Always the clown so funny in his way.
Oh, my pa-pa, to me he was so wonderful
Deep in my heart I miss him so today.”
– Eddie Fisher (1953)
Among my favorite Warner Brothers’ vintage cartoons is “A Bear for Punishment,” a Chuck Jones classic featuring a bumbling trio of bears – Momma, Poppa and Junior. Junior towers over his parents, yet still wears a diaper and is a few cards shy of a full deck.
In this animated short from 1951, Maw and Junior attempt to honor Paw on his special day. Junior serves him breakfast in bed and spills it all over him, tries to shave “good old Pa” with a broken straight edge razor and fills his pipe with, duh, d-y-n-a-m-i-t-e, “tobacco.” These episodes segue into a hilarious song and dance routine to “I’m Just Wild About Harry.”
Through it all, Father Bear protests, “But I don’t like Father’s Day! I HATE Father’s Day!” his temper and blood pressure rising with each well-meaning attempt of Junior Bear to do something nice for Paw that only backfires. As with many Looney Tunes/Merrie Melodies, beneath the slapstick humor lies a subtle truth – whatever befalls us as mothers, fathers and offspring, we are family, and we really do need each other.
The elusive question in this complex human puzzle remains: At what developmental stage do I truly deserve the title of father? Just about any male can father a child. There’s no exam to pass in order to become one, but be assured that tons of tests are sure to follow.
It’s an awesome responsibility to be a father. I know I botched this role and responsibility many times over the years that daughters Jenny and Sara were under our roof. I’m still learning what it all entails long after our daughters have left the nest, married and escorted us into the grandparenting stage of life – something we thought old people did.
Parenting is not an exact science. You can try doing everything by the book, drawing from biblical principles and examples as well as guidelines imparted by excellent parenting manuals in seeking to train up a child in the way he should go. But, there’s no warranty, no money back guarantee that your children will turn out just the way you dreamed and planned, accepting your ethics and values. I believe the hardest thing for any parent is not harboring guilt and feelings of failure if indeed a child adopts a drastically conflicting lifestyle.
Certainly my own father, the late J. Vernon Bishop of Doylestown, Pa., provided a role model that I tried to emulate in honing my own parenting skills. Hardly a day goes by that I don’t think about both Mom and Dad Bishop. I stopped by their grave site at the Blooming Glen (PA) Mennonite Church on the last visit to my home community, had a little conversation with them and got a renewed sense that they’re still happy together while keeping an eye on the comings and goings of the congregation and on the offspring they raised and nurtured in such remarkable, loving ways.
I definitely experienced love for all the years that I was privileged to know my own earthly father, which in turn provided a glimpse into what it means to know and to experience the love of God, which in many ways far surpasses human understanding.
Much of what I know of my Heavenly Parent and his attributes arises from the love, support and guidance I received at the feet of my own father. I don’t have a neat answer for those who’ve never experienced a good relationship with their own father. Or, maybe they never knew their father, which in turn has to affect their perception of God.
Dad Bishop left this granite planet in late February, 1998, too soon – at age 76. I realize often that’s just 10 years older than I am now. I don’t obsess or agonize over this fact, but it helps remind me of my own mortality, the transient nature of life and of the need not to fret unduly over how brief a span we mortals have to live, move, have our being and, hopefully, leave an imprint for loved ones and others to follow.
This Fathers’ Day, I salute fathers everywhere – those married with children and grandchildren and those Dads who have lost their spouse or are separated or divorced yet remain committed to being the most loving, nurturing and supportive parent humanly possible.
Is there any nobler calling?
Jim Bishop is public information officer at Eastern Mennonite University. He can be contacted at [email protected].
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