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Happily ever after? Romance movies set unrealistic expectations for couples

Crystal Graham
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Hallmark Channel and Disney movies set unrealistic expectations for romance and may lead to some couples feeling dissatisfied with their own partner.

In movies, it’s usually flowers and dancing in the rain, mushy poems and loads of canoodling.

In real life, there is conflict, financial stress and challenges that just aren’t depicted in films.

“From a young age, children are exposed to media that reinforces the importance of romance, marriage and a happily-ever-after ending,” said Sarah Ovink, an associate professor of sociology at Virginia Tech. “Adults may continue to be drawn toward fantasies of happily-ever-after, having been primed to celebrate these stories since childhood.”

There’s a lot more to relationships than the googly-eyed infatuation that is found in most romance novels and films.

“In the real world, love and relationships are seldom neat and tidy, but these movies make a happy ending feel both inevitable and magical.”

Some couples are led to believe that these perfect relationships are possible, and that may result in seeing their own romantic life unsatisfying, according to a Virginia Tech associate professor of human development and family science.

“Hallmark-style holiday movies feature idealized tropes of finding ‘the one’ and love conquering all,” said Rose Wesche. “The idealized relationships in these movies connect with people’s desire to have a ‘perfect’ relationship, full of infatuation and free of conflict.”

Wesche said the films are appealing to people of all ages for different reasons. For younger people, it may counter the negative experiences in their own dating life. For older adults, it may help them escape the unhappy or less exciting aspects of their relationship.

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Crystal Graham

Crystal Graham

A 1999 graduate of Virginia Tech, Crystal Graham has worked for 25 years as a reporter and editor for several Virginia publications, written a book, and garnered more than a dozen Virginia Press Association awards for writing and graphic design. She was the co-host of "Viewpoints," a weekly TV news show, and co-host of "Virginia Tonight," a nightly TV news show, both broadcast on PBS. Her work on "Virginia Tonight" earned her a national Telly award for excellence in television. You can reach her at [email protected]