Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
Spring has sprung.
Yay.
It’s a good thing, too.
I mean, I’m so glad to see that it’s warmed up so much, and all.
Ahem.
What in the Sam Hill happened to global warming?
Can I ask that question?
It’s been spring for going on a week now. We’ve had exactly one day in the 60s since then.
One friggin’ day.
We’ve had more winter-weather advisories since the vernal equinox than we did in the entire month of January.
Which leads to this aside rant – how can they call them winter-weather advisories when it’s spring?
Hello! If weather takes place between March 21 and June 21, it’s spring weather!
Yep, even if it’s snowing outside.
I mean, seriously – they didn’t issue a summer-weather advisory a few weeks back when the high temperature was 88 in the dead of winter.
They should have put out a winter-weather advisory then.
I could live with that kind of winter weather.
This spring weather that we’ve been seeing the past couple of weeks, though, I could live without.
I’m waiting for the day when I can take my dog for a walk in the morning sans gloves and parka.
And can have a cookout without having to stand over the fire to keep from freezing my bejeebies off.
I did that this past weekend, incidentally.
I guess I’m what you call the stubborn type.
“It’s spring, dadgummit. Time to fire up the grill.”
These were my fightin’ words.
It worked out as planned – for the most part.
I’m dealing with one of the more virulent colds that I’ve ever had right now.
(Coincidence, I think not.)
Personally, I’m blaming it all on the groundhog.
I think he saw a double-shadow – which means we’ve got, what, four more weeks of this to put up with before the weather finally turns?
Chris Graham’s Stop the Presses column appears on this blog on Tuesdays and Fridays. For more on Chris Graham’s humor columns and other fiction writing, visit www.authorchrisgraham.com.
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