AI is going to kill us all: The next three years are going to be really weird

Now that we’re being told that AI is going to kill us all by the end of the decade, it’s time to start asking some important questions.

Should I keep eating salads?

And …

Why am I still working out like a beast every day?

Seriously, pass the maple bacon donuts, and hand me the remote, so we can binge-watch some more “Diplomat.”

We’re all getting closer to the last suppers, so, to quote Humpty Hump, doowatchalike.

Next …

Why not just run up as much credit-card debt as we can get access to?

You know, since we’re not going to have to pay it back.

Buy everything.

Break stuff.

Pay the monthly minimum, until Jan. 1, 2029, or thereabouts, then, dare ‘em to sue you.

Speaking of …

Kids in college, you already know what to do here.

Drop out, first off.

Then, drink and smoke and do drugs and the rest – by all means, fornicate! – to your heart’s content, knowing there aren’t long-term repercussions.

Come to think of it, that’s just not advice for the kids there.

The band from the Titanic is playing our song; eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.

Everything is in the short term now.

Live life accordingly.

With healthcare: annual checkups seem rather pointless now, don’t they?

Stitch me up and get me back out there, doc.

As long as everything is still attached, I’m good.

No need to work hard and save to be able to buy a house.

Rent, then, see above about welching around Jan. 1, 2029, or so.

Good luck getting all of us evicted before the robots take over.

The last couple months of 2029 will feel like “The Purge.”

What, you’re going to arrest me for murder?

We’re all about to get murdered.

It’s hard to figure that somebody can’t just push a couple of buttons to stop the end of the world as we know it from happening, but that’s what they’re telling us.

Might as well enjoy it.

I mean, sure, the AI that we see isn’t any more dangerous than Wikipedia or a teenager posting a Jon Hamm dancing video to TikTok, but obviously, that’s just AI making us believe that it’s dumber than a Commodore 64.

Did it make a crucial mistake here, letting us know that it’s really all-powerful?

If we all turn into fat, happy, drunken slugs who stop going to work and paying our bills, do we inadvertently cripple the economy that keeps the lights on – and perhaps sloth ourselves into saving humanity?

I’m willing to do my part there.

The next box of maple bacon donuts is on me.

My bad, it’s in me.

In my bell-yyyyy!