Deep State, Superhero Trump: Secrets

I’m an enemy of the people. Have been since 1995.

Also, I’m fully weaponized by the CIA.

Yep, Deep State, they own me.

They let me know all about the child sex rings involving prominent Democrats, just like you’d expect in an action movie, where the nefarious bad guys reveal all their secrets, and then you’re supposed to pretend that you don’t know.

That. Actually. Happened.

Child sex rings, let’s see, what else. Yeah, Seth Rich.

I totally know about what happened there.

I don’t know why they tell us this stuff.

(Or maybe I do know, and they won’t let me tell.)

(Or I know, and I’ve already told you. Wink, wink.)

Ahem.

And, yes, can confirm, Superhero Trump is rounding them all up, and they’re all wearing ankle bracelets, and about to be locked up.

You’re probably wondering how I can confirm this.

Is it because: I’m going rogue?

Or maybe: the Deep State is using me to throw you off the scent?

This is Deep, Deep State-level s–t going on here now, ain’t it?

Maybe I’ve been weaponized by Superhero Trump.

You can’t prove that I haven’t been.

Gotcha there, didn’t I?

Trump is that much of a genius.

All the nonsense you see from me, blasting him for this, that, the other.

Just throwing the Deep State off my scent.

Or maybe: the Deep State made me write this to throw Superhero Trump off my scent.

To be honest, I’m not sure right now which end is up, either.

I do have a theory about all the rain. Totally a liberal plot with crisis actors to make us buy that nonsense about climate change.

Or: is it?

Column by Chris Graham