Donald Trump hit the deck as shots rang out, and while he was on the ground, and our attention was distracted, using the term borrowed from pro wrestling, he “juiced” – cut himself above the ear with a small razor blade.
This scenario isn’t nearly as far-fetched as you no doubt think it is.
Could be why we’ve not had the endless congressional hearings on the “assassination attempt” at a campaign rally in 2024, because we’re not meant to know what really went down.
The hard part to the conspiracy theory about the “assassination attempt” has always been, OK, so, we’re to believe that the 20-year-old community college student working at a nursing home was a good enough shot from 150 yards to nick Trump in the ear, and not miss by a millimeter and blow his head off, right there on live TV.
Not if the shots got nowhere near Trump, who, coincidentally, is a WWE Hall of Famer.
And it’s worth noting that his top communications strategist, Steven Cheung, is a former UFC comms guy – UFC, the Ultimate Fighting Championship, the other popular-with-Americans fake combat sport, which is now combined into a single corporate entity, TKO Sports, alongside WWE.
From our carny combat sports’ earliest days, the performers have “gotten juice” – blood – by hiding tiny razor blades in their wristbands, their trunks, even under their tongues.
All it takes for us not to see the magic trick is a distraction – the ref arguing with the opponent over a rules interpretation being the most common.
The crowd’s eyes follow the activity that the people putting the show on want us to see, and when we turn our attention back to the hero in a heap in the corner, he’s bleeding like a stuck pig, ostensibly from some dastardly action of the match’s heel – who might have rammed the hero’s head into a ringpost, or hit him with a foreign object.
With the 2024 “assassination attempt,” the distraction was provided by the utter chaos that you’d expect when your eyes tell you that you’re witnessing an assassination attempt in real time.
My assumption here, if this is the way things really did play out, was that Trump was to do more in terms of “juicing” than he ended up doing – i.e. he wasn’t supposed to suffer a tiny cut on his ear.
The plan would have been for the blood to flow like a river, but Trump, being an amateur at the “juicing” game, chickened out in real time.
He got just enough in terms of blood to be able to have something to sell the world, though, come on – we’re supposed to believe that a bullet from 150 yards away grazed him and caused less in the way of blood than the average guy gets shaving before breakfast in the morning?
There’s even a real life example of this from the world of pro wrestling – the 1988 match between NWA world champion Ric Flair and top contender Lex Luger, which was supposed to come down to Luger catching Flair in a submission hold, on the apparent verge of pulling a dramatic upset, but only after suffering a bad cut to the forehead that would serve as the pretext for a state athletic commission official to call for the bell, and a win for Flair, citing Luger’s loss of blood.
Except that, Luger, who hadn’t been asked to “juice” much at this point in his young career, barely nicked his forehead; the resulting controversy was a near-disaster for the NWA, exposing a business that, in the 1980s, still had its fair share of true believers.
There were shots fired, obviously, at the 2024 campaign rally, because a guy in the crowd on the stage behind Trump was shot and killed, and two others were seriously wounded.
Trump, we know, bled, whether it was from a bullet, or a blade.
The “juicing” theory makes a lot more sense than the official story of him getting nicked in the ear from 150 yards.
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Chris Graham
