Copy of U.S.-Iran deal leaked: Looks like the Iranians won this one, y’all

Great news: it’s only going to cost American taxpayers $300 billion to get out of the war with Iran that Donald Trump started in February, and has been saying since Day 1 that we’d already won.

And what are we going to get for that $300 billion – plus the $70 billion that we spent fighting the war?

And the billions more that we’ve all been paying for gas over the past two and a half months?

The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States undertake to respect each other’s sovereignty and territorial integrity, and to refrain from interfering in each other’s internal affairs.

This is from a leaked copy of the agreement obtained by Al Arabiya English, an arm of the Saudi state-owned Al Arabiya network.

The Saudis are, on paper, at least, our allies.

OK, so, we’re agreeing not to eff around in the other’s affairs going forward.

What else do we get?

Of substance, that is.

Upon signing this Memorandum of Understanding, the Islamic Republic of Iran will immediately take steps to ensure that the movement of merchant ships from the Persian Gulf to the Sea of Oman and vice versa is resumed within 30 days to the pre-war volume, taking into account the need for the removal of technical obstacles and the neutralization of mines by Iran.

Alright!

I mean, the Strait hadn’t been mined before Trump started the war, but anyway.

Free sailing!

The Islamic Republic of Iran reiterates that it will never produce nuclear weapons. The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States have agreed that the fate of enriched material and the fate of all other mutually agreed nuclear-related issues, including Iran’s nuclear needs, will be adequately addressed in a final agreement; the final agreement will confirm the provisions of this Article.

O …K.

Is there an enforcement mechanism to this? Or are we just trusting Iranian leaders when they say they “will never produce nuclear weapons”?

I’ve scanned the document; the answer: no.

So, the Obama era deal that Trump tore up in his first administration, because it had Obama’s name on it, which also had Iran agreeing to never produce nukes, included provisions for international monitoring, to make sure the Iranians weren’t secretly working on weapons, and a “snapback” provision that allowed for the automatic reinstatement of international sanctions if Iran violated its commitments.

None of that is in this deal.

And not only that.

The Islamic Republic of Iran and the United States agree that, pending a final agreement, they will maintain the status quo: Iran will maintain the status quo on its nuclear program, and the United States will not impose new sanctions on Iran or strengthen its forces in the region.

Wait, what?

Iran is going to “maintain the status quo on its nuclear program”?

Wouldn’t they have done that without us doing this war thing?

The United States undertakes that immediately after the signing of this Memorandum of Understanding, and until the date of the lifting of sanctions, the United States Treasury Department will issue waivers for exports of Iranian crude oil, petrochemical products and their derivatives, and all related services, including banking, insurance, transportation, and the like.

We’re lifting the economic sanctions on Iran in this?

The United States undertakes that, in light of the progress of negotiations towards a final agreement, frozen or restricted funds and assets of the Islamic Republic of Iran will be released and made fully available. These funds, whether held in the master account or transferred, will be used for any final beneficiary payment determined by the Central Bank of the Islamic Republic of Iran and will be fully available for use. The United States undertakes to issue all necessary permits and licenses on this basis.

And we’re unfreezing their funds and assets?

Who won this war again?