The thing that surprises me the most is that I was surprised to see Kurt Suzuki and Ryan Zimmerman go full-MAGA today at the White House.
Seriously, two multimillionaire athletes standing on the side of history with a multimillionaire president whose main contribution to fellow multimillionaires is cutting their taxes to the bone.
Hooda thunk it, right?
If you’re Kurt Suzuki, if you’re Ryan Zimmerman, you don’t have to worry about your health insurance not covering your kids’ medical bills.
Your kids’ educations: taken care of.
You’re fortunate, in that society values your skills at a kids’ game to the degree that (checks math) Suzuki has made $37 million over his 12-year career, and Zimmerman has been paid $139.9 million over his 14-year career.
Zimmerman, in particular, that’s the definition of fuck-everybody-else, I-got-mine kind of money.
You make that kind of money, what’s a few brown kids in cages, when they’re not your kids, you know?
So what, our country is at its demonstrably weakest point internationally since the Jimmy Carter years, the president is strong-arming foreign leaders into giving him political dirt to use to stay in power, did we mention the kids in cages?
Especially if you’re Zimmerman, big deal. The president plays to his base by demeaning people of color, but, come on, Zim’s a white guy.
It’s not like he has to worry about getting shot by a cop after getting pulled over for a busted taillight.
He’s ostensibly straight, so the push from the MAGAs to undermine gains toward equality for LGBTQ+s is no skin off his nose.
Suzuki, as a Japanese-American, not sure what’s going on there.
Maybe Stockholm Syndrome?
In any case, it’s not surprising that millionaire athletes are siding with a millionaire president who has endeared himself to the millionaires by cutting their taxes.
OK, Suzuki actually wearing the MAGA hat, wow.
The bigger surprise is that more millionaire athletes don’t show their true colors.
Alright, there’s also Tiger Woods, but he can’t be the only other MAGA chud in sports.
With all the money in those clubhouses and locker rooms, it’s easy to be Kurt Suzuki and Ryan Zimmerman.
Well, I’d bet you couldn’t convince Suzuki of this right this second. Poor snowflake, he’s taken his Twitter account private, but, poor guy, what did you expect, in a country with a plurality supporting the impeachment and removal, and a 60 percent disapproval rating?
It’s harder to be Sean Doolittle in that environment, and before you say, no way, hear me out.
Doolittle, also a multimillionaire (career earnings: $17.7 million), and like Zim, also a white guy.
Just keep your mouth shut, if you’re Doo, and you can make several million dollars more as a LOOGY and ride off into the sunset without having ruffled a single feather.
Instead, Doolittle took the brunt of the idiot critics on the right who don’t know a first down from first base by going public with his decision and reasoning for not accepting the invite to the White House to be part of that spectacle.
Most of his teammates, the ones not named Suzuki or Zimmerman, that is, demonstrated various levels of discomfort at being there, but they went, because shutting up and playing good soldier is easier than taking a stand.
Actually, putting on a MAGA hat to start a game of grab-ass with the POTUS probably is taking a stand, when you think about it.
An interesting stand, that one, but a stand nonetheless.
I keep trying to tell myself, as a Nats fan, that … it’s not just the Nats, there are MAGAs in every clubhouse, every locker room.
The more I tell myself that, though, the more I realize, it’s not helping me to keep telling myself that, because, pretty soon, I’m not going to have sports anymore.
Story by Chris Graham
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