Wake me when something important … zzz …

Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
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I didn’t watch the YouTube debate.

I don’t make it a point of watching any of those debate things.

I think they’re beyond pointless.

I mean, seriously, a bunch of suits lined up giving us 45-second answers to all of our problems.

My attention span runs out at 15 seconds anymore.

What – you’re still on that topic?

I want my food to warm up in the microwave faster than it does.

Took me 35 seconds to heat up a roast-beef sandwich from Arby’s the other morning.

I had to walk down the hall and turn on the TV waiting for it to get done.

Books – ha, as if I have the time.

Why read a book in 10 hours when you can watch it on TV in an hour and a half?

(And fast-forward through the boring parts.)

Which gets me back to those debate things … um …

I had a thought there.

Er …

Football games go on for hours and hours. I can stand those, though – because they have plenty of commercials.

Not that I watch the commercials. No, if you play it right, you can watch two or three games at a time, plus a special on The History Channel, the weather on one of the 40 weather channels that we have on our cable now and Headline News.

The debates …

It’ll come back to me.

I’ve had to cut my workouts at the gym back to a half-hour.

I still get to everything that I used to get done in an hour.

I don’t know. I guess I just get antsy in there.

I know what it was that I was going to say about the debates.

Maybe they could just have the people do commercials about the important stuff, and show those.

I know most of what passes for discourse in campaign TV spots is flags waving in the breeze, but that’s about all I want to see anyway.

Well, that and something negative.