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It wasn’t a lovers’ spat: FBI affidavit spells out details of hammer attack on Pelosi

Chris Graham
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(© Koshiro K – Shutterstock)

Elon Musk tweeted out, then deleted, a link to a fake news site that made the attack by Trumpist QAnon whackamole on Paul Pelosi somehow the result of a gay lovers’ spat.

Not to be outdone, Donald Trump Jr., the son of, you know, tweeted, and didn’t delete, a meme saying he had found a Paul Pelosi Halloween costume, above a photo of a pair of men’s underwear and a hammer.

Hilarious, right?

Because it was a lovers’ spat.

The Chief Twit said so.

Piling on, Charlie Kirk, a famous to the kind of people who like that kind of thing fascist fake news commentator, is calling for a “patriot” to step forward to bail out the assailant, David DePape, 42, because there are “questions” to be asked about what happened.

Here’s what happened:

“Pelosi was asleep when DePape came into Pelosi’s bedroom and stated that he wanted to talk to ‘Nancy.’ When Pelosi told him that Nancy was not there, DePape stated that he would sit and wait. Pelosi stated that his wife would not be home for several days, and then DePape reiterated that he would wait. Pelosi was able to go into the bathroom, which is when he was able to call 9-1-1. Pelosi stated that when the officers arrived, that was when DePape struck him with the hammer.”

This is according to the FBI affidavit unsealed on Monday.

More from the affidavit, this from the Mirandized and recorded interview of DePape:

“DePape stated that he was going to hold Nancy hostage and talk to her. If Nancy were to tell DePape the ‘truth,’ he would let her go, and if she ‘lied,’ he was going to break ‘her kneecaps.’ DePape was certain that Nancy would not have told the ‘truth.’ In the course of the interview, DePape articulated that he viewed Nancy as the ‘leader of the pack’ of lies told by the Democratic Party. DePape also later explained that by breaking Nancy’s kneecaps, she would have to be wheeled into Congress, which would show other Members of Congress that there were consequences to actions. DePape also explained generally that he wanted to use Nancy to lure another individual to DePape.”

DePape, according to his statement to police, broke into the home using a hammer, and said Pelosi was in bed and appeared surprised to see him.

After Pelosi told him that his wife wasn’t there, DePape said he wanted to tie him up so that he could go to sleep, “as he was tired from having to carry a backpack to the Pelosi residence.”

The guy’s obviously a trim and fit Trump foot soldier.

“Around this time, according to DePape, DePape started taking out twist ties from his pocket so that he could restrain him. Pelosi moved towards another part of the house, but DePape stopped him, and together they went back into the bedroom.

“While talking with each other, Pelosi went into a bathroom, where Pelosi grabbed a phone to call 9-1-1. DePape stated that he felt Pelosi’s actions compelled him to respond.

“DePape remembered thinking that there was no way the police were going to forget about the phone call. DePape explained that he did not leave after Pelosi’s call to 9-1-1 because, much like the American founding fathers with the British, he was fighting against tyranny without the option of surrender.”

Elon, Don Jr., Charlie Kirk, the rest of you sloths, this is your hero.

“The police arrived and knocked on the door, and Pelosi ran over and opened it. Pelosi grabbed onto DePape’s hammer, which was in DePape’s hand. At this point in the interview, DePape repeated that DePape did not plan to surrender, and that he would go ‘through’ Pelosi.”

Paul Pelosi is 82.

This DePape guy is one brave dude, vowing to fight his way through an 82-year-old man.

“DePape stated that he pulled the hammer away from Pelosi and swung the hammer towards Pelosi. DePape explained that Pelosi’s actions resulted in Pelosi ‘taking the punishment instead.’”

Tough guy.

So, no, Elon, Don Jr., Charlie Whoever You’re Supposed to Be, it wasn’t a gay lovers’ spat.

It was a politically-motivated attack.

The perp expressly wanted to break the House Speaker’s kneecaps to send a political message.

Only in fairy tales concocted by – checking my notes – the world’s paper richest man, who just bought the world’s biggest money-losing social media site, and also the son of a wannabe fascist dictator and a fake media cuck angling to be court jester, is this anything but an attempted political assassination.

I’d say, shame on y’all, but none of y’all have any shame.

Chris Graham

Chris Graham

Chris Graham is the founder and editor of Augusta Free Press. A 1994 alum of the University of Virginia, Chris is the author and co-author of seven books, including Poverty of Imagination, a memoir published in 2019, and Team of Destiny: Inside Virginia Basketball’s Run to the 2019 National Championship, and The Worst Wrestling Pay-Per-View Ever, published in 2018. For his commentaries on news, sports and politics, go to his YouTube page, or subscribe to his Street Knowledge podcast. Email Chris at [email protected].