Chris Graham: No Black Friday for me, thanks

Can you keep a secret? This is an important one. I’m opting out of Black Friday this year.

Truth be told, we’re opting out of the craziness of Christmas across the board. Which wasn’t a popular decision with all the family.

“Whatever,” my mom said when we broke the news to her.

(These kinds of things only work mutually, you see.)

I’ve been pushing for this for years, personally. We did some accounting, and realized that we spent $1,500 on Christmas gifts for family last year. And we’re not talking about a big group of people, either. I don’t have kids, so it’s two moms, two sisters, and their five kids.

I get what I’m really doing here. No, not just being cheap. I’m undermining the foundation of our economy with this new policy.

They don’t call it Black Friday for no reason. It’s the day that retailers look at for purposes of getting into the black, i.e. profitability. That’s what the Christmas season does for our economy.

So while it’s good for me that I’m pulling back this year, don’t you get any bright ideas to that effect.

Keep spending thousands of dollars on toys and sweaters and assorted knick-knacks. And gift certificates. I think gift certificates are a great idea. (You’re essentially giving someone the gift of having to go shopping for the gift that you were too lazy to pick out yourself. Brilliant!)

This last month of the year drives everything else that goes on the other 11 months economy-wise.

You guys reading this, you need to spend, spend, spend. And spend some more.

Keep the economy humming along.

You’ll have more fun than me.