N-L-V-W-T-R-S-L-V-S

Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
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Did you see the news this week about how Virginia leads the country in the percentage of vehicles that have vanity license plates?

Y-O-U-D-I-N-T?

Well, let me tell you …

W-E-R-V-A-N-E.

I know I spelled that wrong. W-E-R-V-A-I-N was already taken.

According to a new study by the American Association of Motor Vehicle Administrators …

W-S-T-O-M-N-Y.

… 16.2 percent of the 6.6 million registered motor vehicles in Virginia, more than 1 million, all told, have vanity plates on them.

N-T-A-C-R-T-C.

Nope, I’m not criticizing here – because the two cars in my household both have vanity plates.

My wife’s plates read T-E-C-H-9-9, denoting her college alma mater and year of her graduation.

My own plates read A-F-P-H-O-O.

Which spells out …

Alright, Fine, Put His Oxy-10 Outside.

(I had acne as a teen. Bad acne. Even in spite of all the Oxy-10.)

No, actually it spells out Augusta Free Press ‘Hoo – referring, you know, to the business and to my own college alma mater.

W-E-N-O-C-A-R-E.

Ahem, that’s eight letters – and you only get seven on your Virginia vanity plate.

Which leads me to muse – can you imagine how out of control we would be if we could have eight, nine, 10 letters … or more?

I know there’s a way to figure this out mathematically.

W-A-Y-T-O-O-H-A-R-D.

I agree.

The point being, we could only be scratching the surface here, ladies and germs.

N-D-D-I-S-P-L-Z.

Your wish is granted.