Nan Russell: Scary voices
It was the year I first heard the kaleidoscope of voices. They harassed me for weeks over what I should be that night, providing ongoing commentary like: “Stupid idea;” “Boring;” “Not scary.” Even the lure of Milk Duds, Good ‘n Plenty, and Sugar Babies wasn’t enough to make this shy seven-year-old decide it was fun to dress up, knock on doors, and speak to neighbors, let alone strangers. I hated Halloween.
What if no one understood my costume and I had to explain it? What if someone made fun of me? What if someone had a costume like mine? What if no one had a costume like mine? I just knew mine would be the worst, so I announced I didn’t want to go trick-or-treating that year. Fortunately my parents’ wisdom prevailed, I survived Halloween, and temporarily slayed those inner self-esteem demons.
Now, sounding familiar after decades of mental lashing, the voices of Judge, Critic, Analyzer, Derailer, Unlovable, Fear, and Not Enough can still be an arsenal that ambushes my confidence, kills my ideas, and pushes me to shadowy places. Judge and Critic visit most often. Others, like Unlovable and Not Enough, wait like cats to pounce when I least expect them. And a few rarely speak, yet have the power to overwhelm me as my imperfections, limitations, and mistakes are illuminated with a force that brings feelings of self-doubt, guilt, or unworthiness.
Several years ago, when fighting bouts of depression and welling anger, I was prodded to consider that no one was thinking the things I ascribed them to be thinking. No one was judging me as harshly as I was, and no one saw me as imperfectly as I saw myself. With out-of-control negative self-talk, I’d become an enemy to my own interests. In an act of self-protection, it was then that I created the new voices of Cheerleader, Believer, Dreamer, and Real Person.
Over the years, I’ve learned to control and ignore the negative voices. At least, most of the time. I have fun labeling them, talking back to them, and replacing them. Still, there are days that I find myself hearing their words.
It’s taken me decades of focused effort to tame the negative voices and evolve positive ones, but in doing so I’ve changed more than my thoughts. I’ve changed my life, and how I see its opportunities, people, and the world around me.
I still hear voices, and I’m still not fond of Halloween. But I’ve learned, in the scheme of things, I’m in charge of what I put in my head and what I choose to believe about myself. So when I don’t like the scary voices that limit my life, cloud my optimism, or tame my passion, I create new ones that open doors, build my future, and show me new possibilities. After all, they are my voices.
Column by Nan Russell
Bruce Sallan: I miss my best friend
Do you have a best friend? I’ve grown apart from my closest friend while, at the same time, renewed contact with my oldest friend (since age 4 or 5). I believe it’s an important ingredient in having a balanced social life, whether you’re single or married. Some people think that their spouse should be their best friend. I don’t.
My history of friendship has always included having a best friend–a guy, though I had many close female friends later in my life Having opposite gender friends is another topic altogether and maybe even a bit controversial. My first close friend was the previously mentioned friend that I made in nursery school, which is what pre-school was called in my day.
Our parents were friends and neighbors and “D.J.” and I became close friends all the way through high school. Later, in junior high school I had a best friend who my mom really didn’t like. He wasn’t a “good kid,” according to her. She was right. He liked to do things like get cherry bombs and firecrackers and blow up stuff. His mother was divorced–a stigma in those days.
My mom had the ability, as most parents did in those days, to dictate my friendships and “Fonz” my “bad boy” friend, was slowly but surely dropped. I don’t think I even realized how my mother manipulated the situation. Ironically, Fonz ended up in some sort of trouble, only validating my mom’s wisdom, especially in her eyes.
In 10th grade geometry, I met “Mike” and we soon were best friends. I would characterize Mike as my first real best friend in that we went to school together, saw each other pretty much every day, spoke on the phone regularly, and lived three blocks from one another. We spent after-school time at one another’s homes. He had the cooler house, because he had a basketball hoop, a pool table, and a photography dark room–heaven for boys in those simpler days.
We played a basketball game all the time called “Tip-In,” and I honestly remember always winning and it becoming a running joke between us. With pool, however, he was the dangerous influence Robert Preston warned of in “The Music Man,” trying to teach me how to properly hold a pool cue.
As time passed, we settled into a wonderful friendship that benefitted from our respectively different personalities and skills. I was the “crazy one” while he was the “practical one.” He was the smarter one in the “book smart” sense while I was smarter with “street sense.” I was the daring one; he was the “play it safe” friend. It worked.
We went to different colleges but never lost touch. In our sophomore year, I suggested that we take our Winter Quarter off and spend it skiing. He literally thought I’d lost my mind. That winter, at Lake Tahoe, we skied all day, walked to our jobs as busboys in a local casino, and had the times of our lives. For us, it became our “Glory Days” experience, as in the Bruce Springsteen song where he reflects on the best time of his life when he was a football star in high school.
After college, I suggested that we go to Europe, find jobs, and spend an indefinite time criss-crossing the continent. Against his better judgment, we did. That became our second “Glory Days” story. I loved Mike. I still do.
Finding jobs after college was much easier in those days (the early 70’s) and soon he was working in real estate and I’d begun my showbiz career. I suggested, in our early twenties, that we buy a house together. Again, he thought I’d lost my mind. The third house we saw, we bought.
Two years later, Mike met and married “Mary.” He had found a new best friend. While our friendship continued, “Mary” was always suspicious of Mike’s “crazy and wild” friend and our time together was limited more and more with each child they had. Theirs was a good marriage and in many ways reminded me of my parent’s terrific marriage, which lasted 66 years until my dad’s death. Mary was the boss, and ran their social life; Mike loved everything she did, was completely content, and made the money. They’re still happily married today.
Mike and Mary have since moved to another state. Over the years, Mike became busier and our friendship drifted apart. I became a somewhat successful showbiz guy while Mike steadily worked in his chosen field, also successfully, but with less obvious glitz. That suited him just fine.
I divorced and while it no longer carried much of a stigma, I was maybe the first divorce in Mike and Mary’s circle. From that point forth, our friendship drifted even further apart. When I called Mike he always was in a rush, it seemed to me. We exchanged e-mail messages, but saw each other less frequently. When he moved out-of-state, the friendship slowly began to marginalize to the point where I haven’t spoken to him in months.
Our lives change as we grow, mature, and change ourselves–so do our friendships. I’m not sure what the answer is other than to always nurture old friends and develop new ones. But, it’s hard to replace a friend that I shared so much with. I miss my best friend.
Listen to “The Bruce Sallan Show – A Dad’s Point-of-View” Thursdays at 11 a.m. PST on KZSB AM1290 in Santa Barbara or on the Internet via a live stream. For that link and all information about the show and Bruce, visit his web-site: http://brucesallan.com. Bruce created and launched a new website for those who would like tech help, called BoomerTechTalk (http://www.BoomerTechTalk.com).
Local telephone co-op honored
The Foundation for Rural Service honored a National Telecommunications Cooperative Association member, the Monterey-based Highland Telephone Cooperative, as the recipient of the annual FRS Community Development Award during NTCA’s 2010 Fall Conference. General manager Phil Munchel accepted the award on behalf of Highland Telephone Cooperative and its board of directors.
The award was bestowed to recognize Highland Telephone Cooperative’s efforts to coordinate a large number of community partners to obtain funding for the Alleghany Highlands Agricultural Center. Highland Telephone Cooperative applied for and won $480,000 of a USDA-REDL loan funding for this project and persuaded other investors to pitch in and help achieve the funding needed for this $1.4 million project. Highland Telephone Cooperative will reset poles at the site, at no expense, to allow for the creation of a commercial drive.
The center will be a USDA-inspected meat processing plant as well as an educational and marketing facility. In addition to bringing in new jobs to the area, the center will help retain 40 existing farm jobs in nearby areas, increase sales to local businesses that support farm operations and increase revenues for a large number of farms. This is a four county and two state project (Highland/Bath in Virginia and Pendleton/Pocahontas in West Virginia).
The FRS award recognizes outreach to rural communities and honors companies for their commitment to improving the lives of the customers they serve. Awardees are recognized for their efforts in the areas of rural economic development, education, volunteerism and philanthropy. The award is given on an annual basis to a NTCA Member or Associate Member Company and/or individual employee(s) of their companies who have made a significant impact in their community.
Edited by Chris Graham. Chris can be reached at freepress2@ntelos.net.
Flu-shot clinic in Harrisonburg
The Central Shenandoah Health District will offer free seasonal flu vaccine to everyone ages three and up, at a clinic on Tuesday, Nov. 2 at Harrisonburg High School. The clinic will be held from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. in the school’s gymnasium, at 1001 Garbers Church Road in Harrisonburg. Vaccine is available on a first-come, first-served basis. Those under age 18 must be accompanied by a parent or guardian.
“This clinic gives us the opportunity to practice our emergency dispensing plans, in the event of a situation requiring us to give medicine or vaccine to many people in a short period of time,” said Michael Keatts, emergency planner for the Central Shenandoah Health District.
Flu vaccine is effective. “Take time to get a flu shot,” said Douglas Larsen, M.D., director of the Central Shenandoah Health District. “The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommend a yearly flu vaccine as the first and most important step in protecting against flu viruses.”
Flu vaccine is safe. “A flu shot does not cause flu illness. The viruses in a flu shot are killed. They’re dead, so they cannot cause a flu infection,” said Dr. Larsen. “The nasal mist vaccine contains a live, but weakened, virus. Both vaccines stimulate the immune system to protect you against the flu, but do not cause flu illness.”
For more information, call the Harrisonburg Health Department at 540.574.5100, or visit www.vdh.virginia.gov.
Edited by Chris Graham. Chris can be reached at freepress2@ntelos.net.
VDOT meeting to discuss I-64 exit in Augusta
The Virginia Department of Transportation will hold a citizen information meeting concerning the Interstate 64 Exit 91 interchange in Augusta County. The meeting will be held on Wednesday, Nov. 3, 2010, 4-7 p.m. at the Preston L. Yancey Volunteer Fire Department located at 2015 Jefferson Highway, Fishersville.
Citizens can come in during the meeting hours and discuss the project on a one-on-one basis with VDOT officials and designers. Written comments can be submitted at the meeting or within 10 days after the meeting date to Mr. Scott Alexander, Virginia Department of Transportation, 811 Commerce Road, Staunton, Va. 24401-9029. Oral comments can be recorded at the meeting with the assistance of a court reporter.
This project is located at the Interstate 64 Exit 91 interchange, which is at Route 285 (Tinkling Spring Road) in Augusta County. Improvements from this project include work to the ramps, shoulder and mainline roadway on Interstate 64 and widening Route 285. The project limits on Route 285 extend from .072-mile north of I-64 to 0.24-mile south of I-64. Route 285 will have four lanes. Dual turn-lanes and dual receiving lanes will be provided at both I-64 on-ramps. Dual left-turn lanes will be built on Route 636 to accommodate traffic growth from the nearby hospital complex.
Upgrading Route 285 to a four-lane facility through the study area will improve overall operations to acceptable levels of service and will reduce motorist delay. Improvements to the ramps and I-64 will reduce congestion and prevent traffic backing up onto Route 285 and also onto I-64.
The total estimated cost for this project is $35.6 million, including $3.3 million for preliminary engineering, $2.5 million for right of way and $29.8 million for construction.
Edited by Chris Graham. Chris can be reached at freepress2@ntelos.net.
DCCU reports strong third quarter
DuPont Community Credit Union reported growth in total loans outstanding for the third quarter for 2010.
The Waynesboro-headquartered credit union, which operates nine branches in the Central Shenandoah Valley region, reported a 7.4 percent increase in total loans funded over the previous quarter and a 1.2 percent increase over the total outstanding balances as of the third quarter of 2009. This brings the amount of total loans outstanding to $581.8 million as of the end of the third quarter.
Total real estate loans funded increased 32 percent over the previous quarter and 3.1 percent over the third quarter of 2009. This brings the total amount of real estate loans funded for the year to $83.6 million.
DCCU also reported that the credit union’s equity or net worth ended the third quarter at $66.7 million, signifying its continuing soundness. In addition, it maintained the designation as “well-capitalized” by the National Credit Union Administration (NCUA), the highest designation. NCUA is the federal government regulator of credit unions (www.ncua.gov).
Edited by Chris Graham. Chris can be reached at freepress2@ntelos.net.
Moss print benefits Children’s Choir
Renowned artist P. Buckley Moss of Waynesboro has created a new painting titled “Making a Joyful Noise,” which was released during the Shenandoah Valley Children’s Choir Spring concert weekend last April as a fundraiser for the choir.
Prints are available from the SVCC office at $80 each, with half the profit going toward the choir’s operating expenses. For more information, contact Yvette Peake, manager, at 540.432.4650.
Ms. Moss’ new work depicts singing choristers of varying international backgrounds and ages. Wearing their choir uniforms, the choristers are from the Preparatory, Treble and Concert Choirs, all part of the acclaimed SVCC consisting of more than 200 children ages 8-17 from Eastern Mennonite University’s music department.
This is Moss’ second work for the SVCC, her first being “Courthouse Chorus,” which depicted the SVCC singing at Harrisonburg’s Christmas tree lighting ceremony. Following their appearance at the National Christmas Tree Lighting in Washington, D.C., with former president Bill and Mrs. Hillary Clinton, opera singer Placido Domingo and the U.S. Coast Guard band in 1997, the SVCC sang at the Downtown Harrisonburg’s Christmas tree lighting the first weekend in December that year.
Pat Moss is well-known throughout the country for her portrayals of the Amish, nature and children and for her tranquil landscapes. She has achieved phenomenal success in the art world and has spent the last 20 years giving back a measure of that success to the community. Donations of her artwork have raised more than $4 million for worthy charitable organizations across the country. She is helped by the P. Buckley Moss Society, a group of more than 12,000 collector-members.
She has also established the P. Buckley Moss Foundation for Children’s Education, which promotes the use of art in the school curriculum as an aid to reaching out to children with learning differences. Moss is dyslexic and grew up at a time of little public understanding of this learning difficulty. Having achieved success in spite of – or, as she says, “because of” – this impediment, she is eager to help reach children in similar circumstances today.
To learn more about Moss and her art, visit The Moss Portfolio website at www.pbuckleymoss.com.
Story by Jim Bishop. Jim can be reached at bishopj@emu.edu.
The AFP on WREL: Oct. 26, 2010
AFP editor Chris Graham makes his weekly appearance on WREL’s “Online with Jim Bresnahan” to talk sports.
The focus is on UVa. football this week with the Cavs preparing to face ACC rival Miami. What does Virginia need to do to pull the upset?
Virginia Tech has the week off as it gets ready for a Thursday-night clash with Georgia Tech next week. Can the Hokies make it through their tough November schedule to win the ACC Coastal?
High-school football and ACC basketball wrap us up this week.
Goodlatte and the term-limits pledge
It doesn’t bother me at all that Bob Goodlatte reneged on his term-limits pledge.
I’ll concede that perhaps it should.
(You know, broken promises …)
But it doesn’t. I file it away in the Politicians Saying Anything To Get Elected folder. Like how Goodlatte will tell you up and down how he’s aghast at big spending by Democrats, when he did little to stand in the way of his fellow Republicans when they had the keys to the White House and majorities in Congress and themselves spent like drunken sailors.
Or how he’ll tell you he’s big on agriculture issues, when his tenure as chair of the House Agriculture Committee was free reign for big agribusiness at the expense of the small farmer.
Read the rest of this column at TheWorldAccordingToChrisGraham.com.
ACC Players of the Week
Clemson redshirt-sophomore running back Andre Ellington and Miami senior defensive lineman Allen Bailey headline a list of six players recognized as the Atlantic Coast Conference Football Players of the Week, announced Monday by the ACC. Ellington rushed for a career-best 166 yards and added three scores as the Tigers topped Georgia Tech, 27-13. He finished the game with 257 all-purpose yards, which marked a career high. Bailey registered 3.5 sacks, which accounted for a total loss of 13 yards, as the Hurricanes defeated North Carolina, 33-10. He also tallied six tackles, good for second-most on the team.
Bailey’s teammate, junior Tyler Horn, was honored as this week’s offensive lineman selection. Maryland also had two selections as Antwine Perez was named defensive back of the week, and quarterback Danny O’Brien was recognized as the rookie of the week. Virginia’s Terence Fells-Danzer was tabbed the specialist of the week and also earned national kickoff returner of the week honors from CollegeFootballPerformance.com.
Read the rest of this story at VaSportsOnline.com.
UVa.-Miami game on ESPN
The Atlantic Coast Conference announced today that Virginia’s home football game versus Miami on Saturday will be televised by ESPN. The kickoff had already been announced as a noon start.
The following information is confirmed regarding ACC Football games to be played on Oct. 28 or Oct. 30 (All times Eastern):
Thursday, Oct. 28
- Florida State at NC State, ESPN, 7:30 p.m. (Previously announced)
Saturday, Oct. 30
- Miami at Virginia, ESPN, 12 p.m.
- Clemson at Boston College, ACC Network, 12 p.m.
- Wake Forest at Maryland, ESPNU, 3:30 p.m.
- William & Mary at North Carolina, ESPN3.com, 3:30 p.m.
- Duke at Navy, CBSCS, 3:30 p.m. (Previously Announced)
Latest AFP News
-
AFP builds web video promoting Waynesboro Y - Chris Graham: A catastrophe in the making
- Poll: Virginians oppose 'fox penning'
- House subcommittee votes to remove abortion funding for low-income women
- VMI wins at Radford, 65-60
- Spring Fashion Debut: Spoiling you is her business
- UVa. bounces back, bests Boston College, 66-49
- Dukes get big win over Tribe, 59-47
-
David Reynolds: Close to home
Posted on October 26, 2010 · Leave a Comment
Hopefully, we still believe that the government that is closest to the people is the government that governs best. We trust local government to educate our children. So, why can’t we trust local government to keep all the home fires burning? Too many times instead of taking charge of our own house we call on the White House. Is it not time we paid more attention to who is in charge down the street?
Our nation’s second Lexington, but first in our hearts, also has an election coming up. It also has a few economic problems. There are three seats up for grabs on the six-seat city council and two issues worthy of debate.
There are two real issues that never seem to change: (1) cooperation with the county and (2) missed opportunities. With the 600 square mile county that surrounds little old Lexington cooperation is wanting. Little Old’s vision stops at the city line. One consequence of this nearsightedness: Higher taxes in order to maintain independence.
As for the missed opportunities there is one overriding cause: complacency. There is little resolve to be all that it can be. Stonewall would not be pleased. Possibly this lack of resolve stems from the conventional wisdom that says as long as the city’s two factories are in business, the city will stay in business. Sorry, not today, not in the auto age. The roads are now paved – and they have lanes leaving town.
Lexington does not need to be like most college towns where the life blood flows out. It need not be the hole in the doughnut. We can reverse the flow. We can bring in more niche businesses. This can prevent Main Street after six from becoming an empty bowling alley where there is more gutter space than parked cars. Instead of debating solutions to the big issues city leaders get bogged down in the blame game, with the Chamber of Commerce on the list. After all, we no longer have LDDA to kick around.
We dig ourselves holes by punting away real issues. There are long discussions with long faces about the need to do more long-range planning. And it works! Whenever a sticky subject needs to be unstuck someone will suggest that we develop a “comprehensive plan.” That kills debate. The future is never now. And complacency rules the present. The last light is turned off and Lexington becomes best known as the mailing address for two colleges.
We also resort to “Lexington Speak,” the local dialect of academic talk, an essential language for those who get paid to talk. This year’s theological discussion: Is Lexington antibusiness? All five candidates for city council voiced an opinion or, at least, an article of faith. However, only one said that the town was business friendly! The others said “not unfriendly . . . ambivalent . . . not (sufficiently) aggressive with landlords.”
Is this the best we can say or do? Can’t we do more than raise taxes and hand out speeding tickets? Must the town continue to be stuck in its own alphabet soup of the ARB, the LPC, the LPD, the HLF and the LCC? There are more high hurdles to set up business in town than one would see at a track meet. We say it is for historic preservation. Yet we look the other way when a $4 million check is waived by a college donor. All hurdles came down and R. E. Lee’s school built a nondescript structure that hides R. E. Lee’s former church! Explain that to the general. Is it money or mendacity that we are all about?
Oh, I forgot, the city council candidates. We need to elect civic leaders who can lead by persuading others. No more beauty pageants disguised as elections, where candidates worry about how they look and sound. Why run for a seat when you have stood for little?
Nonetheless, two candidates stand out from the five running. Their vision goes beyond the city limits. Mary Harvey and George Pryde can help the Rockbridge area – not just Lexington – be better. Both are running to do something – not simply to be somebody. Harvey and Pryde compliment each other. Mary has the passion; George the smarts. Both qualities are needed on any governing body.
Mary Harvey is direct, honest (almost to a fault) and hard working. Her work on the city’s planning commission has earned her a promotion. Ms. Harvey is not afraid to take on the city’s two gorillas. Both schools need to contribute their share of running the city. Sorry W&L, token grants don’t pay the rent.
George Pryde has lived in the county. He knows the territory. George shoots straight, knows his facts and is a good listener. If what you have to say holds water, he will carry your bucket.
There you have it. Forget politics elsewhere. Think close to home. After all, that is where you and I live. Not in California or Nevada.
Filed under Blogs · Tagged with david reynolds