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We are such @#$%s as dreams are made on

Dull Ache column by W.R. Marshall

All deference to Mario Cuomo and all the other Democratic wags who thought, or still think, an Obama/Clinton ticket is a “Dream Team” – but, what the hell is wrong with you people?

You can’t seriously think it’s a good idea.

Here we are, on the verge of getting our country back, of digging out from the rubble of what will be eight years of the most incompetent, corrupt and evil (hell-spawn Cheney and his mechanical heart that runs on brimstone is still there isn’t he?) administration in American history, and, once again, the Democrats are trying to find a way to screw it up.

You folks already blew “taking back” Congress with the swell work you’ve been doing there, how about giving the people half a chance at the presidency?

I don’t know whose dream you think this is, but it sure ain’t mine.

An Obama/Clinton ticket would be a dream for all the remaining members of the K.R.R.S. (Karl Rove Rat Squad) because the work’s already been done. Hillary has given the Republicans the playbook to run against Obama in the general, and nobody stirs up the right wing loonies like a Clinton … and they get a black guy thrown in for good measure. (If the Republicans were led by Moses, the Democrats would be manna.)

However, common sense and doing what’s best for the nation and its people has never gotten in the way of politics, so this contingency is being worked up, even as the primary season FINALLY runs down.

Still, this is Hillary Clinton we’re talking about, and she’s already mad about having to even consider the #2 spot, so she sent a list of demands – terms of surrender as it were – to the Obama people:

1. Mrs. Clinton gets to sit in the big chair three days a week – times of day are negotiable, as is use of what’s ever on the desk at the time. (Presidential bathroom privileges are included.)

2. Mrs. Clinton gets all the “White House” stationary she wants. (Forget trying to pawn off the unused “Number One Observatory Circle” stuff.)

3. Mrs. Clinton will run the point on the White House basketball team. Mr. Obama is welcome to play shooting guard.

4. Mrs. Clinton expects people to mumble the “Vice” part when saying “Madam Vice President” so it sounds like “Madame (cough) President.”

5. Mrs. Clinton would like the definitive definition of what “is is.”

6. Mrs. Clinton requires this standing order with everyone in the secretarial pool: When Mr. Clinton calls, she’s always busy.

7. Mr. Clinton gets a membership to the Congressional Country Club, and will be escorted there by Secret Service five days a week … whether he wants to go or not.

8. No female interns anywhere in the Executive Branch.

9. In fact, let’s find Bill a condo near the Congressional.

10. No matter what you’ve heard, Mrs. Clinton will not be expected to answer the phone at 3 a.m.


W.R. Marshall is a regular contributor to The Augusta Free Press.

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