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Trash heap

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Column by Chris Graham
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It started when the second trash can blew away – at least I assume it blew away – before the big snowstorm of a couple of weeks ago.

I say I assume it blew away because, you know, who would steal a big green outside trash can?

I also say I assume because I walked a good radius around my house, and there was no trace of the trash can, its contents, nada.

The thing just vanished.

OK, so that’s part of it. Then comes the snowstorm, and the disruption to trash pickups that resulted.

Right before Christmas.

So now I’ve got the one trash can, a lot of extra junk to throw away because of Christmas, and you’re starting to see where I’m going with this, I’m sure.

Yeah. I’ve got trash coming out of my ears right now, and things aren’t likely to get better anytime soon.

“Oh, good, they picked up the trash,” the missus said Wednesday morning, stoking my hopes that we’d get through the literal mess things have been around here lately, because Thursday is our normal trash day.

We’d asked for a second trash can, and it wasn’t out there smiling at me, so that was a bummer.

This morning came Bummer #2.

The trash I’d dutifully piled up for the guys is still smirking at me on the curbside.

Tomorrow being another holiday, this is my life through next week now.

Bee-yoo-tee-ful.

 

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