The March of Morons: Loopy Lindsey Graham

Dull Ache column by W.R. Marshall

Every now and then, I worry we might elect someone smart. We might put a man or woman in office who will actually say something thoughtful and intelligent. I mean, where would we be if our leaders didn’t supply us with a surfeit of regular and painfully stupid soundbites? The thing is, while we comment on these inanities now and again, we really don’t celebrate their stupidity – we’ll starting today, let’s party.

This doesn’t include the current Halfwit–in–Chief, as it’s far too easy. Dubya has made an artform of being a dolt. Some of his highlights are his compassion for the families of the fallen, “I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal,” or the aging draft-dodger stating to the troops in Afghanistan “It must be exciting for you … in some ways romantic, in some ways, you know, confronting danger,” and how about him telling the nation, “Major combat operations in Iraq have ended.”

However, I reserve the right to flip-flop on this statement … why should I be the only one not doing it? In the meantime, I’ll look around for less obvious, but just as idiotic statements, which brings us to today:

Leading the parade (and I think he really likes the clothes with all the sparkles and fringe), we have Sen. Lindsey Graham, (and if South Carolina remains its consistent, stubborn self, and keeps electing this rug-buying dimwit, I’ll have good stuff to write about for years).

First, here’s a sign of impending doom for all you Republicans out there: This dope is one of the McCain Campaign co-chairs. With all the right-side brain power in the country, Lindsey Graham is the best McCain could do … practice saying President Obama now, so you’ll be used to it by November.

Lindsey’s latest display of idiocy was during his appearance on “Meet the Press” a couple of weeks ago.

There he was, shilling for Kill-em-all-and-let-Hagee-sort-it-out-McCain, and getting his ass kicked by Obama supporter, Joe Biden. (This isn’t to say Joe Biden is Stephen Douglas – hell, I have a chinchilla that could out-think and out-talk Graham.) Suddenly, during that little tête-à-tête, stupidity struck and the South Carolina simpleton busted out this bit of brilliance concerning Obama:

“This guy wants to win.”

How’s that for genius?

Barack Obama wants to win the election.


How can anyone with a conscience vote for someone who wants to win?

Let’s vote for losers. Let’s find folks who just like spending egregious sums of money and enjoy having their personal lives filleted like Alaskan salmon. We should start with lamebrain Lindsey Graham. He’s up for election this November. Now, I’ve never heard him say he wants to win, so let’s assume he’s just running for the exercise, and vote for the other guy who might not want to win either, but isn’t talking about it.

Makes you feel bad for ol’ Dubya, who didn’t want to win so badly he lost … so he had to be installed as president.

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