Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham
[email protected]
Did you see the news this week about how Virginia leads the country in the percentage of vehicles that have vanity license plates?
Y-O-U-D-I-N-T?
Well, let me tell you …
W-E-R-V-A-N-E.
I know I spelled that wrong. W-E-R-V-A-I-N was already taken.
According to a new study by the American Association of Motor Vehicle Administrators …
W-S-T-O-M-N-Y.
… 16.2 percent of the 6.6 million registered motor vehicles in Virginia, more than 1 million, all told, have vanity plates on them.
N-T-A-C-R-T-C.
Nope, I’m not criticizing here – because the two cars in my household both have vanity plates.
My wife’s plates read T-E-C-H-9-9, denoting her college alma mater and year of her graduation.
My own plates read A-F-P-H-O-O.
Which spells out …
Alright, Fine, Put His Oxy-10 Outside.
(I had acne as a teen. Bad acne. Even in spite of all the Oxy-10.)
No, actually it spells out Augusta Free Press ‘Hoo – referring, you know, to the business and to my own college alma mater.
W-E-N-O-C-A-R-E.
Ahem, that’s eight letters – and you only get seven on your Virginia vanity plate.
Which leads me to muse – can you imagine how out of control we would be if we could have eight, nine, 10 letters … or more?
I know there’s a way to figure this out mathematically.
W-A-Y-T-O-O-H-A-R-D.
I agree.
The point being, we could only be scratching the surface here, ladies and germs.
N-D-D-I-S-P-L-Z.
Your wish is granted.