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Moving violations

Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham

312_stopthepresses.jpg“This is the last time we’re moving.”
Famous last words.
It’s been four years since our last move – to a small house south of Grottoes.
Beautiful view of the Blue Ridge. Two farms across the road. The trains that whiz by at night are annoying, but otherwise …
So of course when we found out that a house in Downtown Waynesboro had become available, we had to jump on it.
You know, because you can never be too happy …

“I’m beaming,” my wife said the other day, seemingly innocently, but actually with a purpose.

She had just gone on an unannounced tour of the home – The Hilltop House, as it’s known.

“You have five minutes?” she asked me – and my life hasn’t been the same since.

The first floor is a converted office area – actually four monstrous offices, with a foyer and kitchen and the works otherwise.

The second floor is a living area that is as nice as anything I’ve ever called home.

“So … we’re city slickers again,” I said to the missus, confirming my decision to go with hers that we were taking it, as it were.

I have to say, though, that the next month is going to be … interesting.

Putting stuff into boxes, piling the boxes into a truck, along with all of our furniture – AND THEN doing the same with our office.

Oh, yeah. Talk to me in mid-November when I’m sane again. Right?
“It won’t be that bad,” the wife assures me – forgetting what happened the last time we moved.

Namely, that I sprained my ankle early into the move – and was basically a helpless wreck the rest of the day.

“You’re not allowed to get hurt this time,” I’ve been informed.

Which, you know, foils my plans for trying to get out of this one …


Chris Graham is the author of Stop the Presses: A Collection of Columns. More information on the book is available at