augusta free press news

Hot dog!

Stop the Presses column by Chris Graham

312_stopthepresses.jpgI’ve been eating a lot of hot dogs lately.
How many?
“You’re eating more hot dogs in one day than I eat in an entire year,” my friend Kent said to me the other day.
We were at the UVa. football game – and the only thing I trust at the UVa. football concession stands as far as eating goes is their hot dogs.
Seriously, a hamburger at a football concession stand – sorry, but you can have the salmonella poisoning from undercooked meat, thanks for asking.
But a hot dog – it’s hard to screw up cooking a hot dog.
So …

“Seriously, guy, four hot dogs in one day … ”

So what – I hadn’t had breakfast that morning.

And, you know, I was hungry.

Which doesn’t explain why I’ve been a regular down at the Sam’s Hot Dogs down the street practically every day this week.

The reason for that is simple – we didn’t have time to stock up the pantry here in the office.

I usually eat a ham sandwich and diet chips for lunch.

This week …

“Four hot dogs. Ketchup and mustard.”

Pretty soon, I’m going to be that Joey Chestnut guy – downing sixty three and a half dogs in 12 minutes.

“Not a bad plan,” said the missus, who would love me to do something to take advantage of what she sees as my hidden talent.

“Remember what my mom said when you asked me to marry you?”

Yes. She was afraid that her little girl would never be able to feed me – after seeing me down an entire tray of her chicken parmesan in one sitting.

But, you know, I was hungry …


Chris Graham is the author of Stop the Presses: A Collection of Columns. More information on the book is available at