augusta free press news

Hey, Arlen, get a life

Best Seat in the House column by Chris Graham

The economy is in a tatters. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are marching on toward the 100-year mark. Millions lack access to basic health care. But no worries – Arlen Specter has his eyes on the prize.

“What is necessary is an objective investigation. And this one has not been objective,” said the Pennsylvania Republican senator, who is not satisfied that the Spygate issue involving the New England Patriots is over and done with, and is insisting that the NFL conduct a Mitchell Report-style investigation of the Pats’ illicit taping of opposing coaches’ signals, under the threat of a similar investigation to be funded by the U.S. taxpayers.

Specter was speaking out today at a news conference on Capitol Hill – yes, the guy actually called a news conference to beat this dead horse of a nonstory.

“They are enormous role models for everybody. If you can cheat in the NFL, you can cheat in college, you can cheat in high school, you can cheat on your grade-school math test. There’s no limit as to what you can do. I think they owe the public a lot more candor and a lot more credibility,” Specter said.

O … K …

You know, while we’re at it, I think we ought to ask Arlen to look into how that kid Sanjaya made it so far on “American Idol” last year. And what the deal is with that Hannah Montana girl. Rumor has it that she’s really Billy Ray Cyrus’ kid …

Forgive me for not being candid there. What I was trying to say is … Dude, we know you’re a big Steelers fan. Get over it. It was a football game. We’ve got good people dying in the Middle East for nothing, and you’re steamed about this?

Get a life.