Column by Linda R. Jones
It’s just not fair. Men look awesome with that silver running through their hair. Thinning hair. Let me see Michael Jordan (his royal airness) or Patrick Stewart (aka Captain Jean-Luc Picard) with their lovely bald heads. I can list many gray or bald men: Dwayne Johnson (The Rock), Richard Gere, that guy that does the Dos Equis beer commercial (stay thirsty is not what I’m thinking), Sean Connery, and Idris Elba (got that from my 26-year-old daughter). I asked her who he was and she said, “That guy you have on your IPad wallpaper.” (I can explain! He’s inspirational! See photo.) All so handsome and distinguished looking. Distinguished. That’s the word men get for gray hair and bald heads. I know all women reading this are googling images of these men right now. Brace yourselves. You will start to drool if not more.
Women. I must pause. I’ll start with myself. I know. Our culture pushes youth. That’s just how it is. I’m fine with aging, graying and thinning hair; I would just like the same “distinguished” adjective as men.
I’ve started to go gray since my late thirties and have been coloring my hair since. At the last photo I had taken for my driver’s license, the young man assisting me asked me my hair color. I said, “L’Oreal excellence 4AR.” He was confused. I told him I didn’t know my color anymore and let him decide. “Brown?” Actually, it’s dark chocolate, but whatever.
My daughter suggested I let my hair grow into a bob length and let it go gray. I’m fine with letting it grow but I am not doing the gray thing.
“It’s all the rage, Mom.”
I know and I don’t get it. Young women are purposely dying their hair gray. Why? I get the purple highlights. I get shocking neon colors. I just don’t get why a young woman would dye her hair gray.
My hair is also starting to thin. That bothers me more than the gray. My hair stylist agreed I should go with the bob look to hide the thinning. So now I’m in that growing out phase and women know what a nuisance that is. The stylist also suggested I use a few products for volume. A few products. Twenty bottles and cans later, I’ve got volume.
In addition to thinning hair, I’ve got hair growing in places I don’t want it to grow. Great. Time for waxing. I get eyebrows and lips done but that’s it. We’ll just leave the nether regions alone. I’m not into masochism and I can’t see over my muffin top anyway.
Last year, after a trim on my short hair, I thought my stylist had missed some hair near my ears. I kept wiping at the side of my head and felt hair. Well, I felt one hair. I put on my glasses, looked into the mirror, and screamed. I had one dark, not gray, thick hair growing out from inside my ear. Are you kidding me? It’s a good thing my vision is going or else I’d see other things I don’t want to see.
Maybe I should just go natural and not cave to cultural demands. It would be a lot less time consuming and cost effective. If people commented on my thinning and graying hair, I could simply say, “I look so distinguished.”
Ladies? Your input please. Natural or not. I lost you after you googled the male images.
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